I've always called myself a writer/performer, not an actor because I basically write what I perform. John Cleese More Quotes by John Cleese More Quotes From John Cleese If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas John Cleese humourlaughingideas years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced. John Cleese sarcasticfunnyyears Filming is like a long air journey: there's so much hanging around and boredom that they keep giving you food. John Cleese journeyairlong What's the bleedin' point? John Cleese And now for something completely different... John Cleese nudge-nudgeholy-graildifferent Would you take a billion dollars, if as part of the deal the Earth were made uninhabitable a year after your death? ... well, of course not; you care about your friends, above all your children, any grandchildren. But ... what if the deal calls for the planet to be poisoned a thousand years later? We feel strong obligations to generations in the near future - should we not feel the same way about our children's great-grandchildren and generations beyond them? John Cleese strongchildrenyears I don't want to have to start being unselfish again. The great thing about being on your own is you do what you damned well like. John Cleese unselfishgreat-thingswant Students who laugh more- learn more. Students who laugh more earn more. John Cleese educationalstudentslaughing How to defend yourself against a banana John Cleese bananas You have to create boundaries of space and then you have to create boundaries of time. John Cleese spaceinspiringinspirational My hovercraft is full of eels. John Cleese hovercraftseels You go in and meet the head of BBC One and get an assurance about not dumbing down. And then, of course a few months later, he's been replaced by someone you haven't met. John Cleese metsdown-andmonths Michael Palin decided to give up on his considerable comedy talents to make those dreadfully tedious travel shows. Have you ever tried to watch one? John Cleese giving-upwatchestravel A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed. John Cleese sarcasticshould-havefunny I would like to do my own eulogy, and then shoot myself and then get in the coffin. John Cleese eulogy When you're being stalked by an angry mob with raspberries, the first thing to do is to release a tiger. John Cleese raspberriesadvicefirsts I could take an umbrella and balance it on my chin or on my foot. And I just got interested in that kind of thing. And as I played games more and more and got stronger physically, I just became more coordinated. John Cleese strongergamesfeet A lot of humour is about just enjoying life and spontaneity and because you make a joke that puts somebody down - we're always teasing each other. It's with affection. It's nasty teasing that we - not all teasing; nasty teasing you cut out. John Cleese enjoy-lifenastycutting The great thing about Florida is you - each city's about two hours' drive from everywhere else. John Cleese floridacitiestwo Nerves are always a big problem for me, which is why I loved doing American sitcoms. Because you know when you do the take in front of the audience that you're going to do it again afterwards. A minute after you finish, you just go and do it again. So, there's that sort of safety net. And then if you made a little mistake or two, they'll go pick it up, so there's nothing to worry about. John Cleese safetymistaketwo
