I would be good for maybe not the center square but an upper square on 'Hollywood Squares.' John Hodgman More Quotes by John Hodgman More Quotes From John Hodgman My whole creative career is a product of the Internet. ...I'll take that back. To some degree. My fascination with cultural esoterica and trivia and so on was well-formed long before I got my first AOL account. John Hodgman careers creative long Comics have a problem, and that is continuity - the obsession with placing the characters in an existing world, where every event is marked in canon. You're supposed to believe that these weepy star boys of now are the same gung-ho super teens fighting space monsters in the '60s, and they've only aged perhaps five years. John Hodgman stars character believe The few people who ask to have their photographs with me, I almost always say yes, except for a few circumstances, like when my family is around. John Hodgman my-family photograph people I do not think that a museum needs to engage with pop culture in order to make itself interesting to museumgoers. Museums are already interesting and engaging with pop culture for its own sake is just a quick way to seem and become dated. John Hodgman order museums thinking This is something that the nimblest standup comedians learn, over time, to handle gracefully. They'll go between prepared material, then they'll respond to what's happening in the room and weave it back into the prepared material and so on. John Hodgman comedian materials rooms I'm a personality - like a George Plimpton who effectively plays himself in a bunch of different roles, or a Paul Lynde-type character. John Hodgman personality play character I believe that the federal government should be laying down broadband like Eisenhower laid down interstates. John Hodgman laying-down government believe There's a tradition in American fiction that is deadly serious and earnest - like the Steinbeckian social novel. John Hodgman tradition serious fiction You are only pretentious if you are not sincere. John Hodgman pretentious sincere ifs People who run for president seriously and people who become president enter a bizarre secret society in which they have had an experience that none of us will ever have. John Hodgman secret running people People like what they like. They're gonna do what they're gonna do. John Hodgman people Reality, while generally probable, is not always interesting. John Hodgman reality interesting I'm not a particularly religious person, but that feeling of getting transmissions from someplace else, even if it's from your own consciousness, is very, very real. To me, at least. John Hodgman real religious feelings Lies are just another kind of storytelling, but with the very distinct and enlivening motive of desperation. Since writers are by nature desperate creatures, they usually do a pretty good (or pretty awful, but always interesting) job of lying. John Hodgman jobs lying interesting I have an unfortunate compulsion. I really would rather not do it, as it is very nerve-wracking and un-fun. But when it works, there is nothing like it. John Hodgman compulsion nerves fun Americans don't need a metaphor for war. We have war. If anything, we use war as a metaphor for sports. John Hodgman sports war needs So much of creativity is the feeling that you're either getting a gift from some other dimension or some other part of yourself. John Hodgman dimensions creativity feelings If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason. They do not choose how, when, or whom they shove. They are doing this in order to please one angry old man on the sidelines. This old man is called the 'coach' or 'yelling surrogate' dad who will never be happy. John Hodgman dad football men Well, I always had this desire to celebrate and somehow be a part of things that I thought were really great. John Hodgman celebrate really-great desire I know electric knives are excellent for carving turkeys that have had their bones removed and been forced into a mold to shape them. Please note that those turkeys are called hams. John Hodgman ham turkeys knives