I write on a laptop, so it's impossible to count drafts anymore. Garrison Keillor More Quotes by Garrison Keillor More Quotes From Garrison Keillor Those people on daytime TV talking about how their parents never gave them the positive feedback they needed and that's why they shot them- those are not Minnesotans. Garrison Keillor parenttalkingpeople Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason for people to talk to you will be sheer habit. Garrison Keillor carereasonpeople Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people. Garrison Keillor darknesspeopleneeds Your car, comfort though it be, this little den and dining room on wheels, is a prison that deadens your senses, and to feel wholly alive you must go for a walk. Garrison Keillor cardiningcomfort You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog. Garrison Keillor neighbordogliars Winter: It's not just a season, it's who we are. Garrison Keillor seasonswho-we-arewinter Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic. Garrison Keillor lightheartmen I loved feeling special. I hated feeling special. Garrison Keillor hatedspecialfeelings My ancestors were Puritans from England. They arrived here in 1648 in the hope of finding greater restrictions than were permissible under English law at that time. Garrison Keillor englandlawamerica Dogs don't lie and why should I? Strangers come they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark, Now let me, by night or day, Be just as full of truth as they. Garrison Keillor truthdoglying TV news is as bloody as Shakespeare but without the intelligence and the poetry. If you watch television news you know less about the world than if you drank gin out of a bottle Garrison Keillor tv-newsbottleswatches Humor has to surprise us; otherwise, it isn't funny. It's a death knell for a writer to be labeled a humorist because then it's not a surprise anymore. Garrison Keillor humoristssurprise Freedom doesn't mean aimlessness. We can't just sleepwalk through life.... Freedom demands structure. Garrison Keillor demandfreedommean You now have learned enough to see That Cats are much like you and me And other people whom we find Possessed of various types of mind. For some are sane and some are mad And some are good and some are bad And some are better, some are worse But all may be described in verse. Garrison Keillor madcatpeople It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about the lives of geese than to make three hundred fat and flabby about God or the American people. Garrison Keillor eyegodpeople The majority of people who keel over dead at concerts are killed by a long trumpet passage. Garrison Keillor musiclongpeople ..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head. Garrison Keillor minnesotastupiditypeople Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot. Garrison Keillor vomitingeatinglittles Just because we're fictional characters doesn't mean you can pick us up and move us anywhere you want.--the people of Lake Woebegon Garrison Keillor charactermeanmoving Give guilt - the gift that lasts forever. Garrison Keillor guiltforevergiving
