Ideological differences are no excuse for rudeness. Judith Martin More Quotes by Judith Martin More Quotes From Judith Martin Yes, etiquette is hypocritical. Yes, it does inhibit children - if you're lucky. But the idea that it's elitist and irrelevant is like saying language is elitist and irrelevant. Judith Martin doe children ideas Meanwhile, the empty forms of social behavior survive inappropriately in business situations. We all know that when a business sends its customers 'friendly reminders,' it really means business. Judith Martin social-behavior friendly mean Protocol is etiquette with a government expense account. Judith Martin etiquette definitions government People say when you're in love, you don't need etiquette. Well, you need it then more than anything. Or they say, "At home I can just be myself." What they mean is they can be their worst selves... They always mean they will save all their anxiety about how to behave for somebody like the head waiter of a restaurant, someone they'll never see again. Judith Martin love-you home mean To sacrifice the principles of manners, which require compassion and respect, and bat people over the head with their ignorance of etiquette rules they cannot be expected to know is both bad manners and poor etiquette. That social climbers and twits have misused etiquette throughout history should not be used as an argument for doing away with it. Judith Martin sacrifice ignorance compassion Only a person who considers himself too good for you is good enough. Judith Martin good-enough persons enough Miss Manners does not mind explaining the finer points of gracious living, but she feels that anyone without the sense to pick up a potato chip and stuff it in their face should probably not be running around loose on the streets. Judith Martin missing mind running We have the reverse of the Puritan work ethic in America now. No one ever becomes a star by plugging along year after year. What is needed is flair, talent, 'an eye,' contacts, charisma, and, most of all, naturalness. Judith Martin stars eye years the obligation to express gratitude deepens with procrastination. The longer you wait, the more effusive must be the thanks. Judith Martin gratitude procrastination waiting It has always puzzled me, in my business, that people think they have to answer questions, no matter how disagreeable or dangerous, just because they were asked. Of course, we journalists would be out of business if they didn't. Judith Martin would-be people thinking When politeness is used to show up other people, it is reclassified as rudeness. Thus it is technically impossible to be too polite. Judith Martin rudeness impossible people Knowing that others have gone through similar tragedies may be a help, but it should be remembered that every tragedy is not only commonplace but also unique. Judith Martin unique tragedy knowing It doesn't matter whether the bride or the bridegroom writes the letters of thanks for wedding presents provided that these go out immediately after the arrival of each present and are not in the handwriting of the bride's mother. Judith Martin mother letters writing people, in forming their opinions of others, are usually lazy enough to go by whatever is most obvious or whatever chance remark they happen to hear. So the best policy is to dictate to others the opinion you want them to have of you. Judith Martin lazy want people The etiquette question that troubles so many fastidious people New Year's Day is: How am I ever going to face those people again? Judith Martin new-year people years Like language, a code of manners can be used with more or less skill, for laudable or for evil purposes, to express a great variety of ideas and emotions. In itself, it carries no moral value, but ignorance in use of this tool is not a sign of virtue. Judith Martin skills ignorance ideas The challenge of manners is not so much to be nice to someone whose favor and/or person you covet (although more people need to be reminded of that necessity than one would suppose) as to be exposed to the bad manners of others without imitating them. Judith Martin nice challenges people Washington knows that it is not safe to kick people who are down until you find out what their next stop will be. Judith Martin next safe people Fairness does not consist so much of everybody's doing the same thing, but of everybody's being willing to do something that others don't want to do. Judith Martin fairness doe want Why bring children into a world where no one writes letters? Judith Martin writing children world
