Ideological differences are no excuse for rudeness. Judith Martin More Quotes by Judith Martin More Quotes From Judith Martin Visiting the sick is supposed to exhibit such great virtue that there are some people determined to do it whether the sick like it or not. ... All visitors everywhere are supposed to make plans to depart if they observe their hosts visibly wilting or in pain, but this is especially true at hospitals. Judith Martin pain sick people many of the guests will eventually leave the table to watch football on television, which would be a rudeness at any other occasion but is a relief at Thanksgiving and probably the only way to get those people to budge. Judith Martin thanksgiving football people In its natural state, the child tells the literal truth because it is too naive to think of anything else. Blurting out the complete truth is considered adorable in the young, right smack up to the moment that the child says, 'Mommy, is this the fat lady you can't stand? Judith Martin honesty children thinking Whamming someone smaller than oneself in order to teach that person civilized behavior is not within Miss Manners' concept of propriety, much less logic. Judith Martin logic missing order From Memorial Day to Labor Day, you may wear white shoes. Not before and not after. As a command, the White Shoe Edict should be clear and simple enough. Do not violate it. In a society in which everything else has become relative, a matter of how it makes you feel, a question between you and your conscience, and an opportunity for you to be really you, this is an absolute. Judith Martin memorial-day simple opportunity The one prediction that never comes true is, 'You'll thank me for telling you this. Judith Martin predictions busybodies conversation For email, the old postcard rule applies. Nobody else is supposed to read your postcards, but you'd be a fool if you wrote anything private on one. Judith Martin postcards email fool The dinner table is the center for the teaching and practicing not just of table manners but of conversation, consideration, tolerance, family feeling, and just about all the other accomplishments of polite society except the minuet. Judith Martin accomplishment teaching food You glance at an e-mail. You give more attention to a real letter. Judith Martin real attention giving One reason that the task of inventing manners is so difficult is that etiquette is folk custom, and people have emotional ties to the forms of their youth. That is why there is such hostility between generations in times of rapid change; their manners being different, each feels affronted by the other, taking even the most surface choices for challenges. Judith Martin emotional ties people You can deny all you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. But if you behave in a way that offends the people you're trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you...There are plenty of people who say, 'We don't care about etiquette, but we can't stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don't want him around!' Etiquette doesn't have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them because their behavior is unbearable. Judith Martin everyday law people The rationale that etiquette should be eschewed because it fosters inequality does not ring true in a society that openly admits to a feverish interest in the comparative status-conveying qualities of sneakers. Manners are available to all, for free. Judith Martin sneakers quality doe What you have when everyone wears the same playclothes for all occasions, is addressed by nickname, expected to participate in Show And Tell, and bullied out of any desire form privacy, is not democracy; it is kindergarten. Judith Martin nicknames democracy desire You do not have to do everything disagreeable that you have a right to do Judith Martin disagreeable Most people who work at home find they do not have the benefit of receptionists who serve as personal guards Judith Martin benefits home people There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class. Judith Martin women class america Miss Manners herself, while never rude, is given to pulling a fast pinch in the way of a handshake on those who believe in kissing on, not even the first date, but the first sighting. Judith Martin kissing missing believe A general rule of etiquette is that one apologizes for the unfortunate occurrence, but the unthinkable is unmentionable. Judith Martin apologizing etiquette apology Everybody's an art critic. Judith Martin critics artist art A small wedding is not necessarily one to which very few people are invited. It is one to which the person you are addressing is not invited. Judith Martin wedding persons people
