If a football official were to call for a slow-motion replay every time Didier Drogba fell over, each match would last about six weeks. Jeremy Clarkson More Quotes by Jeremy Clarkson More Quotes From Jeremy Clarkson Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira Knightley. Jeremy Clarkson cows trying honey I like to be loved by my children, and I quite like the Guardian hating me. Jeremy Clarkson my-children hate children I think it's a good idea to tie Peter Mandelson to a van. Such an act would be cruel and barbaric and inhuman. But it would at least cheer everyone up a bit. Jeremy Clarkson cheer ideas thinking If I like somebody else's tribe I'm going to promote the hell out of it. The whole thing is a democracy, and if somebody's more popular then good luck to them. Jeremy Clarkson tribes democracy good-luck The problem is that television executives have got it into their heads that if one presenter on a show is a blonde-haired, blue-eyed heterosexual boy, the other must be a black Muslim lesbian. Jeremy Clarkson black blue boys Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t Jeremy Clarkson top-gear mad thinking I therefore have to use The Force. And weirdly, this doesn't work very well. I don't understand why, because on the last census, I put my religion down as Jedi Knight. Jeremy Clarkson knights lasts use I dish the dirt out and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it? Jeremy Clarkson dirt mother children When we went to Canada [with Top Gear], I was staggered about how many people got in touch ... Before we finish with The Grand Tour, we'll definitely be appearing in Canada at some point. Nothing is more certain than that. Jeremy Clarkson canada gears people It's just thinking of funny things that will amuse us and entertain us and we'll come and do it. Jeremy Clarkson funny-things thinking I'd just find a story in Canada and come and do it. Combine harvester banger - actually I've done that: banger racing up in Red Deer [in Alberta, for his 1998 doc series Extreme Machines]. Jeremy Clarkson machines racing stories Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. Jeremy Clarkson top-gear light would-be We don't know how many people are watching The Grand Tour's - it's a closely guarded secret, we don't even know - the only thing we can do is make a program that we enjoy. And then hope that we're not so unusual that other people won't share our taste. Jeremy Clarkson taste secret people Extravagant is, I think, the word we all thought when we met ... A lot of money went into that [The Grand Tour's ]. I just thought it would be a good idea to have a bridge from the old to the new and that was a way of saying 'Right, well now look where we are.' Jeremy Clarkson bridges ideas thinking I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful of cold sausages on the previous 4,000 excursions. Then, for no obvious reason, I decided to buy a footstool. Jeremy Clarkson kitchen bored sausage This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots. Jeremy Clarkson india perfect .. international hand of freindship. A cigarette Jeremy Clarkson international cigarette hands It was as relaxing as being tickled. Jeremy Clarkson Planet Earth thought it had £10. But it turns out we only had £2. Which means everyone must lose 80% of their wealth Jeremy Clarkson wealth earth mean If we build three million new houses by 2020, where will we grow all the stuff needed to feed the people who live in them? Jeremy Clarkson three house people
