If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable. Larry David More Quotes by Larry David More Quotes From Larry David I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' Larry David partybirthdaythinking I'm surprized Hitler didn't round up the toupee people. Larry David roundsfunnypeople Whenever something good happens to me, it's usually followed by something terrible. Larry David terriblehappens I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic. Larry David embracepanic I'm not interested in closure. Some people just have heart attacks and die, right? There's no closure. Larry David closureheartpeople Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days. Larry David bleak All of a sudden I discovered that I'm allergic to caviar. It was the perfect metaphor for my life. When I was only able to afford bad caviar, I could certainly eat my fill of it. Larry David caviarableperfect And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me. Larry David versionswriting I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter. Larry David laughterhappinesspeople I guess I still feel that I'm a comedian; if I had to pick one thing that I feel like I could do, it would be that. That doesn't mean that I like it, but I feel that's what I am. Larry David comedianwould-bemean There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny. Larry David certainmightway When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name, I would walk around the streets and occasionally I would see an alcove or something. And I'd think, that'll be good, that'll be a good spot for me when I'm homeless. Larry David new-yorknamesthinking Most people are completely unaware of their breath. They violate your space, they have no idea that they have halitosis. Larry David spacepeopleideas I once stopped to pick up a girl, and then there was this creepy-looking guy standing behind the bushes waiting to jump out and get in, too. So I just quickly drove away. Larry David guygirlwaiting I'm not quite as anonymous as I was. Larry David Luck always plays a part for everyone, whether they want to admit it or not. I was very lucky, and I know it. Larry David luckwantplay Most practical jokes, I'll feel too bad for the other person so I'll stop just before the punchline. Larry David practicalspersonsfeels I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good spot picked out. Larry David homelessspotsplanning I don't like to analyze my music too much. It just comes welling up out of the depths of my soul. Larry David too-muchdepthsoul I'd much rather be on stage talking to a couple of retards for Larry David coupletalkingthinking
