If it weren't for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod. Bill Maher More Quotes by Bill Maher More Quotes From Bill Maher What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I'm not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they're anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they're anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they're super Christian, they're a witch. Bill Maher gay christian trying Trying to get today's Republicans to accept basic facts is like trying to get your dog to take a pill. You have to feed them the truth wrapped in a piece of baloney, hold their snouts shut and stroke their throats. and even then, just when you think they've swallowed it, they spit it out on the linoleum. Bill Maher dog trying thinking We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists. Bill Maher sheep country people God knows life sucks. It's right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, "I can't take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me." Bill Maher funny-life pain jobs Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position Bill Maher atheism belief sex I don't know anyone less Jesus like than Christians. Bill Maher atheist christian jesus If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs. Bill Maher war believe jesus Ronald Reagan basically legalized every illegal immigrant in this country. I just like to bring this up because every week I like to make Republican heads explode about how they love Ronald Reagan, but would despise everything he did. Bill Maher week republican country If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope. Bill Maher crazy responsibility children Is it [hunting] really a sport if you have all the equipment and your opponent doesn't know a game is going on? Bill Maher hunting games sports Over the last 30 odd years, Democrats have moved to the right and the right has moved into the mental hospital. So what we have is one perfectly good party for hedge fund managers, credit card companies, banks, defense contractors, big agriculture and the pharmaceutical lobby... That's the Democrats. And they sit across the aisle from a small group of religious lunatics, flat-earthers and civil war re-enactors who mostly communicate by AM radio and call themselves the Republicans and who actually worry that Obama is a socialist. Socialist? He's not even a liberal. Bill Maher party religious war It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity. Bill Maher stupidity seems people If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church. Bill Maher rich church want I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma. Bill Maher diploma birth school Denying racism is the new racism. Bill Maher racism Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed. Bill Maher soldier heaven believe Sam Harris made that great analogy. He said, 'If someone was talking into their hair dryer and claiming that they were speaking to God, they would call Bellevue. But, take away the hair dryer, it's just praying.' Bill Maher analogies hair talking If you think you have it tough, read history books. Bill Maher coffee book thinking Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. Bill Maher crazy book thinking Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye. Bill Maher crazy matter white
