Quotes by Funny Life He has a heart of gold - only harder. Adolphe Menjou funny-life funny-inspirational heart Life's more amusing than we thought. Andrew Lang amusing funny-life The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about. Andy Borowitz funny-life now-and-then life-is Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing. Andy Borowitz funny-life chicago song I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you. Andy Rooney funny-life lucky age It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone. Andy Rooney funny-life long ideas What fills us is real, sweet, dopey, funny life. Anne Lamott funny-life sweet life If I can sell tickets to my movies like Red Sonja or Last Action Hero, you know I can sell just about anything. Arnold Schwarzenegger funny-life red hero The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. Arthur C. Clarke funny-life zero business A sense of humour is the only divine quality of man Arthur Schopenhauer funny-life god men When asked "If you could meet any famous person living or dead," I always ask whether the dead person would be alive again when I meet them. Ashish Chauhan funny-life alive would-be Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. Bill Cosby funny-life mistake birthday God knows life sucks. It's right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, "I can't take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me." Bill Maher funny-life pain jobs Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different. Bill Watterson funny-life different change If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I'll bet they'd live a lot differently. Bill Watterson cute-life funny-life stars God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die. Bill Watterson accomplish-nothing funny-life motivational If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life. Bill Watterson control-of-your-life funny-life peanut-butter Often it takes some calamity to make us live in the present. Then suddenly we wake up and see all the mistakes we have made. Bill Watterson funny-life wake-up mistake I find my life is a lot easier the lower I keep everyone's expectations. Bill Watterson funny-life expectations life-is Life is just a bowl of cherries, don't take it serious, its mysterious. Life is just a bowl of cherries, so live and laugh and laugh at love, love a laugh, laugh and love. Bob Fosse funny-life love laughing 12345»