If our mushrooms make you hallucinate, please inform us immediately so we can overcharge you. Scott Adams More Quotes by Scott Adams More Quotes From Scott Adams Swing your partner, dosey-do, now clap your hands... uh-oh, that's all the square dance moves I know... I'll bluff the rest. Slap your partner in the face, Write bad checks all over the place, Flirt with strangers, annoy your spouse, Get a divorce and lose your house, ...uh... dosey-do. Scott Adams divorcewritingmoving If you don't believe your salmon is wild, ask it to fetch your newspaper and see what happens. Scott Adams fetchsalmonbelieve In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It’s called Karoshi. I don’t want that to happen to anybody in my department. The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon. Scott Adams workfunnydeath We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational. Scott Adams irrationalwise Writers tend to work early in the morning, or late at night, when brains are naturally able to focus deeply on one thought. In the middle of the day, distractions are unavoidable. I wonder if anything worthwhile has ever been written in the afternoon. Scott Adams focusmorningnight Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. Scott Adams cartoonistobstaclesspring For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson. Scott Adams dollarsnamesscience Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free. Scott Adams rest-of-life My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right. Scott Adams old-lifeusedmade Home is pretty utopian. Scott Adams utopianhome We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants. Scott Adams intelligencesmartcivilization I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society. Scott Adams agepeoplethinking On the fourth day of telecommuting, I realized that clothes are totally unnecessary. Scott Adams nudistsunnecessaryclothes Everything you learn becomes a shortcut for understanding something else. Scott Adams shortcutsunderstanding Large corporations welcome innovation and individualism in the same way the dinosaurs welcomed large meteors. Scott Adams meteorsinnovationway There's no such thing as good ideas and bad ideas. There are only your own ideas and other people's. If you want someone to like your idea, tell him he said it first last week and you just remembered it. Scott Adams wantpeopleideas Dilbert: You joined the "Flat Earth Society?" Dogbert: I believe the earth must be flat. There is no good evidence to support the so-called "round earth theory." Dilbert: I think Christopher Columbus would disagree. Dogbert: How convenient that your best witness is dead. Scott Adams sciencebelievethinking Management is nature's way of removing idiots from the productive flow. Scott Adams flowwisdomway Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it. Scott Adams dilbertwisdomneeds Am I getting smart with you? How would you know? Scott Adams smartwisdomknows
