If the world ends, I'll just head on down to Kentucky because they're always 20 years behind. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented. Mark Twain kingscivilizationpeople Travel is lethal to prejudice. Mark Twain prejudice I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. Mark Twain friendshiplifefunny Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those who do are misinformed. Mark Twain uninformednewsinspirational History never repeats itself; at best it sometimes rhymes. Mark Twain rhymesometimeshistory Honesty: The best of all the lost arts. Mark Twain honestylostart Patriotism is usually the refuge of the scoundrel. He is the man who talks the loudest. Mark Twain patriotismethicsmen If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter. Mark Twain learningleadershipwriting Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. Mark Twain sarcasticlifefunny The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal. Mark Twain racetruthlying Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection-that is the last and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement. Mark Twain pridelovecharacter What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must. Mark Twain richmenway Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is, I dunno. If The Eiffel Tower were now to represent the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; and anybody would perceive that the skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would, I dunno. Mark Twain menscienceyears If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, no doubt it would swim if you brought it to the Nile. Mark Twain swimmingducksheart I notice that you use plain, simple language, short words and brief sentences. That is the way to write English - it is the modern way and the best way. Stick to it; don't let fluff and flowers and verbosity creep in. Mark Twain flowersimplewriting There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing and predatory as it is - in our country particularly, and in all other Christian countries in a somewhat modified degree - it is still a hundred times better than the Christianity of the Bible, with its prodigious crime- the invention of Hell. Mark Twain degreeschristiancountry The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. Mark Twain humorousinspirationalfunny Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog. Mark Twain dogeducationschool It is my heart-warmed and world-embracing Christmas hope and aspiration that all of us, the high, the low, the rich, the poor, the admired, the despised, the loved, the hated, the civilized, the savage (every man and brother of us all throughout the whole earth), may eventually be gathered together in a heaven of everlasting rest and peace and bliss, except the inventor of the telephone. Mark Twain brotherheartmen Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself. Mark Twain miracleknowinglove
