If you are capable people are happy to play with you. Tina Fey More Quotes by Tina Fey More Quotes From Tina Fey You can fix it as soon as you get up - you brush and use mouthwash - but there’s something about knowing you woke up with hot-mothball mouth that makes you feel old. I think God designed our mouths to die first to help us slowly transition to the grave. Tina Fey transition knowing thinking I was wearing my best Gap turtleneck and my dates were two adult lesbians, so yea, I was pretty cool. Tina Fey gaps adults two What Turning Forty Means to Me I need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do. Tina Fey women home mean I was ten. I had noticed something was weird earlier in the day, but I knew from commercials that one's menstrual period was a blue liquid that you poured like laundry detergent onto maxi pads to test their absorbency. This wasn't blue, so... I ignored it for a few hours. Tina Fey pads tests blue Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not. Tina Fey control-of-your-life want witty The more New Yorkers like something, the more disgusted they are. "The kitchen was all Sub-Zero: I want to kill myself. The building has a playroom that makes you want to break your own jaw with a golf club. I can't take it. Tina Fey kitchen zero golf I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is. Because if women were only dressing for men, there would be nothing but Victoria's Secret. There would be no Dior. Tina Fey hilarious men thinking No other formula gives your baby a better start in life except that stuff that comes out of you for free. Tina Fey stuff baby giving In my limited experience, shows are like children. You can teach them manners and dress them in little sailor suits, but in the end, they're going to be who they're going to be. Tina Fey dresses littles children Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly? Tina Fey rocks self people Seriously, I've just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it. Tina Fey fraud feels trying Then she took out a speculum the size of a milk shake machine. Even Michelle Duggar would have flinched at this thing, but I had never seen one before. Tina Fey size milk machines Now let me be clear; millions of women around the world nurse their children beautifully for years without giving anybody else a hard time about it. Teat Nazis are a solely western upper-middle-class phenomenon occurring when highly ambitious women experience deprivation from outside modes of achievement. Tina Fey hard-times children years I keep my eyes on the sea, waiting to be rocketed into it on a wave of fire. I'll be ready for it to happen and that way it won't happen. It's a burden, being able to control situations with my hyper-vigilance, but its my lot in life. Tina Fey eye fire sea Instead of trying to fit an impossible ideal, I took a personal inventory of all my healthy body parts for which I am grateful: Straight Greek eyebrows. They start at the hairline at my temple and, left unchecked, will grow straight across my face and onto yours. Tina Fey eyebrows grateful greek If you’re looking for a spiritual allegory in the style of C.S. Lewis, I guess you could piece something together with Lorne Michaels as a symbol for God and my struggles with hair removal as a metaphor for virtue Tina Fey struggle spiritual hair When I started on 'Saturday Night Live,' I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I had never worn before, or glasses, in order to be able to read the cue cards. Tina Fey glasses night order ‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say. My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away. Tina Fey mother dream jobs Trying to be a leader in a sort of very atypical workplace like 'Saturday Night Live' forces you to realize that no one wants you to be their leader. If you can help them get their thing on TV or whatever, they want that. But no adult is looking for a role model. Tina Fey role-models leader night Now if you're not „hot”, you are expected to work on it until you are. It's like when you renovate a house and you're legally required to leave just one of the original walls standing. If you don't have a good body you have down to a neutral shape, then bolt on some breast implants, replace your teeth, dye you hair, and call yourself the Playmate of the Year. How do we survive this? How do we teach our daughters and our gay sons that they are good enough the way they are? We have to lead by example. Tina Fey wall daughter son
