If you see me at a restaurant, blow me a kiss, wave, blow me another kiss, then walk five steps backward. Todd Barry More Quotes by Todd Barry More Quotes From Todd Barry I had temping jobs also. I liked the flexibility. There was no asking for time off; you just didn't work. Todd Barry time-off asking jobs I once sat next to Jim from Wild Kingdom on a flight from Atlanta. I find mentioning that opens a lot of doors. Todd Barry atlanta kingdoms doors People don't understand that that's really what it is. They're looking for a magic phone number or something. And to a certain extent, I understand that, because comedy is treated so much as a stepping stone by a lot of people. Todd Barry phones numbers people I am the the type to have a personal experience with a celebrity, but I'm too classy to bring that up. Todd Barry personal-experiences type I don't feel I'm even worthy of a normal amount of value. Todd Barry normal worthy feels I don't know any astronauts. There are a lot of people who say they want to be comedians. Todd Barry comedian want people I have a podiatrist appointment at 2. Todd Barry appointments I used to write things out beforehand. But sometimes it backfires Todd Barry used writing sometimes I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all Todd Barry vocabulary trying interesting Anyone who bombs is my friend. Todd Barry bombs my-friends I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right. Todd Barry logic errors mean I will not be misquoted! Todd Barry Buddha, much like everyone else has good and bad days. Todd Barry good-and-bad-days good-and-bad bad-day And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy. Todd Barry goal joy laughing I haven't done a lot in London. I think comedy over there is how it was over here years ago. There's tons of it, and they're better paid. Todd Barry done years thinking I'm particularly proud of my reluctance to share my dreams with anyone. Todd Barry proud share dream I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate. Todd Barry pirate knows culture I must have done everything I had. You go through years where you go through everything you've ever written Todd Barry through-the-years done years I loved Australia. I was very successful there Todd Barry australia successful There seems to be more comedy for comedy's sake Todd Barry comedy sake seems