If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt. Marcus Brigstocke More Quotes by Marcus Brigstocke More Quotes From Marcus Brigstocke I don't mind not being cool; I wear a cardigan. Marcus Brigstocke cardigans being-cool mind Christians, you and your churches don't get to be millionaires while other people have nothing at all. They're your bloody rules! Either stick to them or abandon the faith. Marcus Brigstocke church christian people I'm more pompous and self-assured and determined that if - you know - if the truth can be told so as to be understood, it will be believed. Marcus Brigstocke pompous determined self This goes out to the followers of the three Abrahamic religions: To the Jews, Christians, and Muslims. It's just a little thing, really. But do you think that when you're done smashing up the world and blowing each other to bits and demanding special privileges while you're at it... do you think the rest of us could have our planet back? Marcus Brigstocke special christian thinking Never Google yourself. Seriously, don't! Marcus Brigstocke google If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music. Marcus Brigstocke running motivational inspirational I realised that to compare your insides with other people's outsides leads to unhappiness. Marcus Brigstocke compare unhappiness people I find it hard to get enthusiastic about hotels because, as a touring comic, I spend a lot of time in them. Marcus Brigstocke hotel comic touring I became hugely overweight and then hated myself because it was a form of self-abuse, something over which I had no control. I think the thing compulsive over-eaters want to achieve is that stuffed-full Christmas afternoon feeling. Marcus Brigstocke self feelings thinking I think Ross Noble is the only person that I've seen really storm a stand-up slot at a festival, and that was when he led 3,000 people on a conga out of the tent and across the entire site to a vegetarian food truck. Marcus Brigstocke storm people thinking The most successful comics are always the hardest-working ones. Marcus Brigstocke hardest successful No one wants life to end. It was bad enough when my last tour came to an end. Marcus Brigstocke lasts enough want I'm best known as a stand-up comedian, but I'm a good actor in the right role. Marcus Brigstocke comedian roles actors And much as I enjoy writing and creating stuff, I don't enjoy it so much that I am willing to give up any time that could otherwise be spent performing. Marcus Brigstocke creating giving-up writing Guilt is feeling bad about what you have done; shame is feeling bad about who you are - all it is, is muddling up things you have done with who you are. Marcus Brigstocke guilt done feelings The basic function of a comic is stand-up because it's so straightforward and simple. If the audience don't laugh, you didn't do your job. I've had some audiences where I didn't care if they laughed or not because they were either too drunk or stupid. Marcus Brigstocke simple stupid jobs Jim Henson was an absolute genius. Marcus Brigstocke absolutes genius Offence is important; that's how you know you care about things. Imagine a life where you're not offended. So dull. Marcus Brigstocke care important dull I rarely fly, for environmental reasons more than anything else. Marcus Brigstocke environmental reason I have a very good memory for scripts. I can watch a show I like once, then remember about 90% of the script. But ask me who was in it, and I wouldn't have a clue. Marcus Brigstocke scripts memories watches
