If you want something Scottish, go get yourself a kilt. Marcus Brigstocke More Quotes by Marcus Brigstocke More Quotes From Marcus Brigstocke All my shows are therapy, trying to navigate interesting subjects so I can work them out and to be honest and say some things are beyond the wit of this man. Marcus Brigstocke trying men interesting There are a lot of comics at the top end making staggering amounts of money and selling out stadiums. I think stand-up is a more intimate thing than that. Maybe because of the kind of comedy I do. It's like a discussion, but I'm the one with the microphone. Marcus Brigstocke comedy kind thinking Eventually, somewhere - be it on the Internet or somewhere else - I will host some version of 'The Daily Show.' Marcus Brigstocke host internet somewhere-else I have an addictive personality. Boarding school merely sent me more quickly on the downward spiral that dominated my childhood. Marcus Brigstocke childhood personality school You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost. Marcus Brigstocke fats hug children Jews, I know you're God's chosen people and the rest of us are just 'whatever', but when Israel behaves like a violent, psychopathic bully and someone mentions it, that doesn't make them anti-Semitic. Marcus Brigstocke bully israel people Political correctness is as exploitable as any other progressive ideal, but its aim is to stifle the incessant noise of those who flap their careless lips without a thought about those they might offend and why that might be important. Marcus Brigstocke political important might To the people who've got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn't invent it! Marcus Brigstocke iphone people I've spent a lot of very happy times in Edinburgh as a result of playing virtually every festival since 1996. It's also a beautiful city in its own right, is walkable, within sight of the sea and mountains - and was too far north for the Luftwaffe to have done any damage, hence the spectacularly beautiful architecture. Marcus Brigstocke happy-times sight beautiful I stumbled on a joke idea and style that worked, the audience went with it and, from that moment on, I was hooked. It's an amazing feeling. Marcus Brigstocke style feelings ideas I failed to get into drama school, and my best friend told me I should do stand-up instead. I was always doing gags and voices, so he booked a gig for me without telling me. I only had four days to write it. I did a seven-minute set; the first four minutes were terrible, but the last two were amazing. Marcus Brigstocke writing drama school I find myself by default an atheist but fairly unhappily so. It would be bloody marvelous if there was a god. Marcus Brigstocke default atheist would-be My purist comedy friends accuse me of being a Jack of all trades and master of none. Marcus Brigstocke comedy trade masters I spend my jollity on stage, so there is less in my own life. Marcus Brigstocke my-own-life my-own stage If you go on stage with an agenda, you have to accept not everyone's going to agree with it. Marcus Brigstocke agendas accepting goes-on Catholicism has the clerical equivalent to a nut allergy - even a small exposure to change, and the whole thing will go into anaphylactic shock. Marcus Brigstocke exposure allergies nuts I am not racked with self-loathing. Some issues of guilt and shame, but I'm a pretty good guy. Marcus Brigstocke issues guy self I went to China for a brief working visit, and I thought that Shanghai was interesting, but Beijing totally grabbed me. Marcus Brigstocke shanghai beijing interesting Britain is obsessed with political correctness. Marcus Brigstocke britain obsessed political I have learnt that I am incapable of packing the right amount of clothing, probably because I start 10 minutes before I'm supposed to leave, and that I truly hate airports. Marcus Brigstocke airports minutes hate
