In spite of the poor economy, almost 70 percent of Americans occasionally splurge on luxury items -- like a blanket on a plane, or a peanut. Jay Leno More Quotes by Jay Leno More Quotes From Jay Leno I'm a staunch Independant. Every time I think I am a Republican, they do something greedy, and every time I think I am a Democrat, they go and do someting stupid. Jay Leno republican stupid thinking Mitt Romney has a new fundraising gimmick. If you donate $3 or more to his campaign, your name will be entered into a drawing to win a dinner with Mitt Romney and Donald Trump. If you donate more than $10, you get to sit at a different table. Jay Leno drawing names winning President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before. Jay Leno president country people Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate. Jay Leno birth president running The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump. Jay Leno news president america Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up. Say what you want about Trump, at least this guy has his priorities in order. He doesn't want to let actual reality get in the way of his reality show. Jay Leno running order reality I think Donald Trump and Jeb Bush are the frontrunners. It's kind of like the race between the tortoise and the bad hair. Jay Leno race hair thinking Statistics show 50% of the people use the internet. The rest have sex with real people. Jay Leno real sex people President Bush appeared with Arnold Schwarzenegger at a huge campaign event. Only in California can a governor who speaks German and a president who can barely speak English try to make themselves clear to an audience that's primarily Spanish. Jay Leno speak-english california trying An evangelical minister has had to resign after pictures surfaced showing him in a hot tub with two women. He claimed it was just a baptism gone terribly wrong. Jay Leno baptism hot two A survey asked married women when they most want to have sex. 84 per cent of them said right after their husband is finished. Jay Leno husband want sex Two Americans have been awarded the Nobel Prize for Economics. They are the first to figure out all the charges on their telephone bill. Jay Leno telephones bills two It's not called cocaine any more. It's now referred to as Crack Classic. Jay Leno cocaine classic cracks Did you know that 10% of all Americans have not had sex in 5 years? I didn't know there were so many Republicans. Jay Leno republican sex years 55% of all Americans lose their remote control 5 times a week. That means that they must see the same show for up to 3-4 minutes a time! Jay Leno remote-control week mean 9% would give up sex for the remote control. 91% has already given up sex for the remote control! Jay Leno remote-control giving-up sex I was watching Discovery Channel the other day, and you know that they have come up with a new theory about how dinosaurs was wiped out? It was a midturn election. Jay Leno dinosaurs election discovery A survey has shown that the average man has had sex in a car 15 times. Something to keep in mind next time you're looking for a used car. Jay Leno average men sex With high definition TV, everything looks bigger and wider. Kind of like going to your 25th high school reunion. Jay Leno definitions looks school President Bush spoke with the Amish. He didn't want to, but it was the only group he could find that wasn't upset about the high price of gas. Jay Leno upset groups president