In the gap between who we wish one day to be Alain de Botton More Quotes by Alain de Botton More Quotes From Alain de Botton The largest part of what we call 'personality' is determined by how we've opted to defend ourselves against anxiety and sadness". Alain de Botton sadnesspersonalityworry Without sex, we would be dangerously invulnerable. We might believe we were not ridiculous. We wouldn't know rejection and humiliation so intimately. Alain de Botton rejectionbelievesex The more closely we analyze what we consider 'sexy,' the more clearly we will understand that eroticism is the feeling of excitement we experience at finding another human being who shares our values and our sense of the meaning of existence. Alain de Botton excitementsexyfeelings Everyone wants a better life: very few of us want to be better people. Alain de Botton better-lifewantpeople Most anger stems from feelings of weakness, sadness and fear: hard to remember when one is at the receiving end of its defiant roar. Alain de Botton weaknesssadnessfeelings To be loved by someone is to realize how much they share the same needs that lie at the heart of our own attraction to them. Albert Camus suggested that we fall in love with people because, from the outside, they look so whole, physically whole and emotionally 'together' - when subjectively we feel dispersed and confused. We would not love if there were no lack within us, but we are offended by the discovery of a similar lack in the other. Expecting to find the answer, we find only the duplicate of our own problem. Alain de Botton confusedfalling-in-lovelying In the oasis complex, the thirsty man images he sees water, palm trees, and shade not because he has evidence for the belief, but because he has a need for it. Desperate needs bring about a hallucination of their solution: thirst hallucinates water, the need for love hallucinates a prince or princess. The oasis complex is never a complete delusion: the man in the desert does see something on the horizon. It is just that the palms have withered, the well is dry, and the place is infected with locusts. Alain de Botton princesslovemen Perhaps it is true that we do not really exist until there is someone there to see us existing, we cannot properly speak until there is someone who can understand what we are saying in essence, we are not wholly alive until we are loved. Alain de Botton alivespeakessence To be shown love is to feel ourselves the object of concern: our presence is noted, our name is registered, our views are listened to, our failings are treated with indulgence and our needs are ministered to. And under such care, we flourish. Alain de Botton viewsnameslove-is Work finally begins when the fear of doing nothing exceeds the fear of doing it badly. Alain de Botton exceeddoing-nothingwriting The good parent: someone who doesn't mind, for a time, being hated by their children. Alain de Botton parentmindchildren Being content is perhaps no less easy than playing the violin well: and requires no less practice. Alain de Botton violincontentmentpractice An argument in a couple: 2 people attempting to introduce each other to important truths - by panicked shouting. Alain de Botton coupleimportantpeople There is real danger of a disconnect between what's on your business card and who you are deep inside, and it's not a disconnect that the world is ready to be patient with. Alain de Botton realcardsworld Every time we feel satisfied with what we have, we can be counted as rich, however little we may actually possess. Alain de Botton richmaylittles The problem is if you really believe in a society where those who merit to get to the top, get to the top, you’ll also, by implication … believe in a society where those who deserve to get to the bottom also get to the bottom and stay there. Alain de Botton motivationinspirationbelieve We should not feel embarrassed by our difficulties, only by our failure to grow anything beautiful from them. Alain de Botton embarrassedshouldbeautiful Mental health: having enough safe places in your mind for your thoughts to settle. Alain de Botton mental-healthsafemind Maturity: knowing where you're crazy, trying to warn others of the fact and striving to keep yourself under control. Alain de Botton maturitycrazyknowing Our responses to the world are crucially moulded by the company we keep, for we temper our curiosity to fit in with the expectations of others. Alain de Botton company-we-keepfriendshiptravel
