It'd be great to be so famous that if I murder someone, I will never, ever, ever serve any jail time, even if it's totally obvious to everyone that I did it.

Mindy Kaling

Categorized in : Fame Murder Jail Time

Sometimes I eavesdrop on people. I could rationalize it - oh, this is good anthropological research for characters I'm writing - but it's basically just nosiness. It also helps me gauge where I'm at: Am I normal?

writing character people

[Being role model ]is good for me mentally, selfishly, and it's also nice to try to do that for, especially, younger women. I mean, it's scary as hell. ... I worry about it, but I think it's a good thing to try to do.

nice mean thinking

Anyone who's lost someone to cancer will say this, that you have to struggle to try to remember the person before the diagnosis happened, because they really do change - as anyone would change.

cancer struggle trying

I'm not married, I frequently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dollars, and my bedroom is so untidy it looks like vandals ransacked the Anthropologie sale section. I'm kind of a mess.

dollars three cards

When I was a little kid, I wrote this play about all these characters living in a haunted house. There was a witch who lived there, and a mummy. When they were all hassling him, this guy who bought the house - I can't believe I remember this - he said to them, 'Who's paying the mortgage on this haunted house?' I thought that was really funny.

character funny believe

My dream of course, as a writer and a person who's an entertainer, is: Grow up to be Mindy Kaling, don't grow up to be Mindy Lahiri.

growing-up grows dream

The Tweets that I have written that are most popular are the ones that are the kind of universal girly concerns and observations.

tweet girly kind

On 'The Office,' so much of the show is about disguising your true feelings and your romantic feelings because it was a mock documentary.

office feelings romantic

Live performance really terrifies me. I haven't done it, really, in years. I think that's why I retired from my brief career in stand-up.

careers years thinking

I'm Indian-American and I think that when I think of myself as being culturally Indian, it had so much to do with when I lived with my parents and was a kid because they would take me to the Diwali festivals. They would take me to the temple, and they would teach me about all the different holidays.

holiday kids thinking

I'm someone who loves romance. I always have loved it. Most people who grew up as nerds, as I was, surprisingly, have loved romance.

nerd romance people

I have an underdog spirit in me, and now it feels weird to kind of get my own way more often than not.

underdog spirit way

I feel like the high-concept shows that have some kind of gimmick tend not to be the hit classic shows of all time.

gimmicks classic kind

I am always surprised at what movie studios think people will want to see. I'm even more surprised at how often they are correct.

movie people thinking

It doesn't help for you to name a character's first name be Mindy and then be like, "I'm nothing like the character."

names character firsts

Fast food is hugely important in the life of a comedy writer. All we do is order in, and what we're going to eat is hotly debated.

comedy important order

When people call me either a girl crush or their best friend, like, the best friend they want, that's, to me, the best compliment anyone could ever give me.

crush girl friendship

I think a lot of writers, male and female, write as if their parents were killed in a car accident when they were 2, and they have no one to hold accountable. And unfortunately, I don't have that. I have parents who I care about what they think.

car writing thinking

Later, when you're grown up, you realize you never really get to hang out with your family. You pretty much have only eighteen years to spend with them full time, and that's it.

hanging-out realizing years

Also, chubby people can never truly pull off ethereal the same wa... by Mindy Kaling

Also, chubby people can never truly pull off ethereal the same way skinny people can never be jolly.

skinny people way