It doesn't matter what you're chasing, when you get there you're gonna be like, "Oh, is this all? It kind of sucks." Michael Ian Black More Quotes by Michael Ian Black More Quotes From Michael Ian Black I definitely script things out. I definitely write things down and try to write jokes. Often, they're terrible. I often write terrible, terrible jokes. Michael Ian Black down try things jokes Let me tell you, the life of a C list celebrity is pretty sweet. If I want to go to an Applebee's, all I have to do is, literally, walk in the door. They seat me as soon as the other people ahead of me are seated. Michael Ian Black walk me you life Corporations do a lot of things well, but not run nations, for obvious reasons. Michael Ian Black well things run obvious I honestly believe you can never tell if a relationship is going to last. In my own marriage, which is going on 14 years, I don't think of it as 'I'm going to be with this person forever.' Instead, I think of more like, 'I'll probably be with this person for the next six weeks. Then I'll re-evaluate.' Michael Ian Black you marriage relationship believe Separation is the worst. There's no good way to deal with it, other than to get on the phone and do Skype and try to visit. Michael Ian Black phone try good way Best strategy for a first date is to ask her questions. Just keeping asking her questions about herself. Her life, her job, her friends, her taste in movies and music and everything. People mostly just want to talk about themselves, so let her do that. Michael Ian Black best music life people I think people hate me pretty much across the board, which is nice. I mean, it's a pretty evenhanded loathing among a certain amount of the critical population, which used to be about 80 percent. So now I've gotten to the point where I just don't worry about it that much. It used to be very upsetting, now it's only mildly upsetting. Michael Ian Black think me hate people