It is possible to be dumb and be a college president. Andy Rooney More Quotes by Andy Rooney More Quotes From Andy Rooney Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens. Andy Rooney strikes happy happiness There are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating? Andy Rooney coffee together cheating I've learned... That money doesn't buy class. Andy Rooney i-have-learned ive-learned class I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries. Andy Rooney hate country thinking I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way. Andy Rooney praying helping way I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away. Andy Rooney passed-away mom wish I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful. Andy Rooney should may thinking I often pass a farm with cows grazing in the field and I think to myself how terrible it is that human beings grow other animals just to kill them and eat them. Most of us think of vegetarians as nuts and I'm not a vegetarian but I wouldn't be surprised if we came to a time in 50 or 100 years when civilized people everywhere refused to eat animals. Andy Rooney animal years thinking Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us. Andy Rooney may civilization mean Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys. Andy Rooney smart boys thinking Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, "Could you throw this away for me?" Andy Rooney junk coffee writing I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by. Andy Rooney months people We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins. Andy Rooney cousin smart atheist You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not. Andy Rooney military war funny If you get murdered because you go on a date with someone you met on the Internet, you probably deserved it. Andy Rooney mets internet goes-on The English language is more complex than calculus because numbers don't have nuances. Andy Rooney nuance language numbers The best Christmas trees come very close to exceeding nature. If some of our great decorated trees had been grown in a remote forest area with lights that came on every evening as it grew dark, the whole world would come to look at them and marvel at the mystery of their great beauty. Andy Rooney light dark tree I like Valentine's Day. The trouble is the florists and the candy-makers and the card people are all advertising so much, you don't dare let the day go by without making an offering, whether you mean it or not. Money exceeds affection. Andy Rooney valentine offering mean Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated. Andy Rooney born atheist belief A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?". She doesn't care what you think. Andy Rooney wakes-you night thinking
