It likes it when you don’t depend on it. It will reward you every time you don’t act needy. It will chase you if you act like other things (passion, friendship, family, longevity) are more important to you. If your career is a bad boyfriend, it is healthy to remember you can always leave and go sleep with somebody else.

Amy Poehler

In conclusion, I invite the media to all grow a pair. And if you can't, I will lend you mine.

Amy Poehler

heartless pairs media

The creation of the UCB Theatre is by far my proudest professional accomplishment.

Amy Poehler

creation accomplishment theatre

Sleep can completely change your entire outlook on life. One good night's sleep can help you realize that you shouldn't break up with someone, or you are being too hard on your friend, or you actually will win the race or the game or get the job. Sleep helps you win at life.

Amy Poehler

good-night sleep jobs

When in doubt, make funny faces.

Amy Poehler

diapers doubt faces

Try to keep your mind open to possibilities and your mouth closed on matters that you don't know about. Limit your 'always' and your 'nevers.'

Amy Poehler

mind inspiring trying

I love my boys so much I fear my heart will explode. I wonder if this love will crack open my chest and split me in half. It is scary, this love.

Amy Poehler

scary heart boys

Going from crying to laughing that fast and hard happens maybe five times in your life and that extreme right turn is the reason why we are alive, and I believe it extends our life by many years.

Amy Poehler

laughing believe years

You have to be where you are to get where you need to go.

Amy Poehler

where-you-are please needs

I think we should stop asking people in their 20s what they 'want to do' and start asking them what they don't want to do. Instead of asking students to 'declare their major' we should ask students to 'list what they will do anything to avoid.' It just makes a lot more sense.

Amy Poehler

asking people thinking

Saying "yes" doesn't mean I don't know how to say no, and saying "please" doesn't mean I am waiting for permission.

Amy Poehler

waiting life mean

If you can surf your life rather than plant your feet, you will be happier.

Amy Poehler

surf plant feet

It takes years as a woman to unlearn what you have been taught to be sorry for.

Amy Poehler

healing sorry years

Be easy on yourself. Have fun. Only hang around people that are positive and make you feel good. Anybody who doesn't make you feel good, kick them to the curb. And the earlier you start in your life the better. The minute anybody makes you feel weird and non-included or not supported, you know, either beat it or tell them to beat it.

Amy Poehler

feel-good fun people

Listen. Say yes. Live in the moment. Make sure you play with people who have your back. Make big choices early and often.

Amy Poehler

choices play people

I think the hardest thing is to know what you want, ask for it, and then to stop talking.

Amy Poehler

want talking thinking

Sleep and I do not have a good relationship. We have never been good friends. I am constantly chasing sleep and then pushing it away. A good night's sleep is my white whale. Like Ahab, I am also a total drama queen about it. I love to talk about how little sleep I get. I brag about it, as if it is a true indication of how hard I work.

Amy Poehler

queens good-night drama

I am tired of being tired and talking about how tired I am.

Amy Poehler

tired-of-life tired talking

When young girls are encouraged to explore what they find interesting, they grow up to be interesting women.

Amy Poehler

growing-up girl interesting

Prince Harry this week toured the Jersey Shore with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. It was the first meeting between the Prince, of the House of Windsor, and the Governor, of the House of Pancake.

Amy Poehler

pancakes house firsts

I've always dreamed of growing up to be Amy Poehler.

Amy Poehler

amy funny-inspirational growing-up