It's always fun when you see different comics at different weights or with different hair. Hari Kondabolu More Quotes by Hari Kondabolu More Quotes From Hari Kondabolu Horse is fine. I'll ride a horse. Hari Kondabolu fine horse Another stupid thing I believed for a long time was that pizza was supposed to be said peed-za. Hari Kondabolu stupid said long When I used to wash my hair with a two-for-one shampoo and conditioner, I would wash it twice, which is completely unnecessary, because that's the point - it's one bottle. Because I used to have the shampoo, that's one, conditioner, one. I did the same thing, even though it was two-in-one. I was corrected in my mid-20s by my girlfriend at the time, who laughed at me and said how stupid that was. Hari Kondabolu girlfriend stupid hair I never learned how to tie my shoes, and I was mocked for that. I still don't know how to. Hari Kondabolu shoes stills ties I'm always kind of in my head thinking. Hari Kondabolu kind thinking I'd love for someone to ask me about comedic technique and choices. Hari Kondabolu comedic technique choices I am able to apply certain things to my craft that maybe other comedians don't, because I'm a devotee. Hari Kondabolu comedian crafts able If I was just allowed to talk and handle the whole thing by myself without the audience interrupting with laughter, the show would be much more interesting. Think about all the time we waste by waiting for them to finish their noise, you know? Hari Kondabolu laughter interesting thinking New Zealanders are so chill. I know they say Australians are chill, and I feel like Australians are chill, but I keep thinking, "If they get drunk, they would commit a hate crime." Now that is an extreme position to take, but it's just a feeling I get. New Zealand people, I don't see that. Hari Kondabolu hate people thinking When I go to a bar or a party, I feel like a student invited me to the kegger, and I actually ended up going. And everyone's shocked: "Oh, my god, professor, I didn't know you were actually going to come!" That's me in any circle, really, especially when I hang out with my brother's friends. Hari Kondabolu circles party brother I don't look like a lot of fun. I just don't. Hari Kondabolu fun looks I am frozen musically somewhere around 2004. Hari Kondabolu frozen Politics and sports are the same thing in some ways. I like sports; I don't like the sports aspect of politics. The conventions are basically the playoffs, and the election's the Super Bowl. To me, it doesn't feel important. Hari Kondabolu me election politics sports I am actually a bit chubby, and I eat everything. I eat in a way - if my parents fed me the way I choose to eat as an adult, they would've lost custody. Hari Kondabolu i-am parents me way I want to write my own stuff, and, you know, it would be nice to put myself in it. But I would like to hope that there are going to be better roles offered as well and that I don't need to do everything. You know, like, I appreciate my career being somewhat DIY, but it would be nice to get some help. Hari Kondabolu better myself you hope I've been approached after shows from people who said, 'I don't agree with anything you said, but I laughed the whole way through.' That's still a little strange to me. Like, nothing, really? But at the same time, that's what happens in a conversation. Hari Kondabolu me you time people I'm not a politician, I'm not an ideologue, I'm not an organizer anymore. I'm a human being sharing ideas, and those ideas have to feel fresh and from my heart and my head, and I have to feel it. You can't force that feeling. Hari Kondabolu feel feeling you heart Stand-up will always be my first love, and it has been the primary way I've expressed myself since I was 17. Hari Kondabolu will myself love way You can be funny and say what you mean; these ideas are not mutually exclusive. Some of the best jokes came from people who meant it. See: Pryor, Bruce, Carlin, etc. Hari Kondabolu best you funny people When you ask your white friends what their cultural heritage is, they don't just say white. They give you a math equation. 'Well, I'm a third German and a fourth Irish and one-sixteenth Welsh and one-fortieth Native American for college applications.' Hari Kondabolu you friends heritage white