It's always surprising to be reminded that while you're watching and thinking about people, all knowing and superior, they're watching and thinking about you, right back at you. Terry Pratchett More Quotes by Terry Pratchett More Quotes From Terry Pratchett I once absent-mindedly ordered Three Mile Island dressing in a restaurant and, with great presence of mind, they brought Thousand Island Dressing and a bottle of chili sauce. Terry Pratchett presence-of-mindbottlesislands She got on with her education. In her opinion, school kept on trying to interfere with it. Terry Pratchett opiniontryingschool I’m a witch. It’s what we do. When it’s nobody else’s business, it’s my business. Terry Pratchett witch Ultimately, there is the freedom to take the consequences. Terry Pratchett consequence Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think. Terry Pratchett mightpeoplethinking "And what would humans be without love?" Rare, said Death. Terry Pratchett loveromanticlife Progress just means bad things happen faster. Terry Pratchett progressfastermean There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides. Terry Pratchett funny-inspirationaloppositespeople Unlike wizards, who like nothing better than a complicated hierarchy, witches don't go in much for the structured approach to career progression. It's up to each individual witch to take on a girl to hand the area over to when she dies. Witches are not by nature gregarious, at least with other witches, and they certainly don't have leaders. Terry Pratchett careersgirlhands What did I tell you about Mister Safety Catch?' said Vimes weakly. When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend,' recited Detritus, saluting. Terry Pratchett crossbowssafetysaid As they say in Discworld, we are trying to unravel the Mighty Infinite using a language which was designed to tell one another where the fresh fruit was. Terry Pratchett fruitlanguagetrying I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel. Terry Pratchett risingangelfall The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions? Terry Pratchett arseholespurposerain Five exclamation marks: the sure sign of an insane mind. Terry Pratchett exclamation-marksexclamation-pointshumorous I really wish that peoplewould just say, 'Yes, it's a comic. Yes, this is fantasy. Yes, this is Science Fiction,' and defend the genre instead of saying, 'Horror is a bit passe so this is Dark Fantasy,' and that' s playing someone else's game. So that's why I say I'm a fantasy writer and to hell with 'It doesn't read like what I think of as a fantasy'. In that case what you think of as a fantasy is not a fantasy. Or there is more to it than you think. Terry Pratchett gamesdarkthinking Take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder and sieve it through the finest sieve and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. and yet... and yet you act as if there is some ideal order in the world, as if there is some... some rightness in the universe by which it may be judged. Terry Pratchett moleculesjusticeorder The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish. Terry Pratchett listeningtalkingphilosophy There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who's been pinching my beer? Terry Pratchett truthbeerfood It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocalypse. Terry Pratchett threewarlooks Your average witch is not, by nature, a social animal as far as other witches are concerned. There's a conflict of dominant personalities. There's a group of ringleaders without a ring. There's the basic unwritten rule of witchcraft, which is 'Don't do what you will, do what I say.' The natural size of a coven is one. Witches only get together when they can't avoid it. Terry Pratchett personalityanimalaverage