It was like looking at a knot, knowing it was a knot, but not knowing how to untie it. I had no map for this life. Laurie Halse Anderson More Quotes by Laurie Halse Anderson More Quotes From Laurie Halse Anderson I handed my tools. The two of them reached down to help me out of the crater I'd dug. ''Isn't that a little deep?'' Yoda asked. ''It'll help the roots get established,'' I explained. ''Established where? China? Laurie Halse Anderson tools roots two I stuff my mouth with old fabric and scream until there are no sounds left under my skin. Laurie Halse Anderson fabric skins sound I'm learning how to taste everything. Laurie Halse Anderson recovery taste We tilt our heads back and open wide. The snow drifts into our zombie mouths crawling with grease and curses and tobacco flakes and cavities and boyfriend/girlfriend juice, the stain of lies. For one moment we are not failed tests and broken condoms and cheating on essays; we are crayons and lunch boxes and swinging so high our sneakers punch holes in the clouds. For one breath everything feels better. Then it melts. The bus drivers rev their engines and the ice cloud shatters. Everyone shuffles forward. They don't know what just happened. They can't remember. Laurie Halse Anderson girlfriend lying cheating I breathe in slowly. Food is life. I exhale, take another breath. Food is life. And that's the problem. When you're alive, people can hurt you. It's easier to crawl into a bone cage or a snowdrift of confusion. It's easier to lock everybody out. But it's a lie. Laurie Halse Anderson hurt lying people Be careful what you wish for. There's always a catch. Laurie Halse Anderson careful be-careful wish What do you miss about being alive?" The sound of my mom singing, a little off-key. The way my dad went to all my swim meets and I could hear his whistle when my head was underwater, even if he did yell at me afterward for not trying harder. I miss going to the library. I miss the smell of clothes fresh out of the dryer. I miss diving off the highest board and nailing the landing. I miss waffles" - p. 272. Laurie Halse Anderson smell dad mom So, she tells me, the words dribbling out with the cranberry muffin crumbs, commas dunked in her coffee. Laurie Halse Anderson muffins cranberries coffee The best time to talk to ghosts is just before the sun comes up. Laurie Halse Anderson come-up ghost sun Censoring books that deal with difficult, adolescent issues does not protect anybody. Quite the opposite. It leaves kids in the darkness and makes them vulnerable. Censorship is the child of fear and the father of ignorance. Our children cannot afford to have the truth of the world withheld from them Laurie Halse Anderson father book children The only number that would ever be enough is 0. Zero pounds, zero life, size zero, double-zero, zero point. Zero in tennis is love. I finally get it. Laurie Halse Anderson tennis zero numbers Hannah was about to burst with excitement, which would have been disgusting because she would have sprayed blood, guts and glitter in every direction. Laurie Halse Anderson excitement glitter blood I pull my lower lip all the way in between my teeth. If I try hard enough, maybe I can gobble my whole self this way.... I didn't try hard enough to swallow myself. Laurie Halse Anderson teeth self trying Everybody told me to be a man. Nobody told me how. Laurie Halse Anderson be-a-man men She turns to us, acts surprised to see us, then does the bit with the back of the hand to the forehead. "You're lost!" "You're angry!" "You're in the wrong school!" "You're in the wrong country!" "You're on the wrong planet! Laurie Halse Anderson country hands school You must walk alone to find your soul. Laurie Halse Anderson walks speak soul IT happened. There is no avoiding it, no forgetting. No running away, or flying, or burying, or hiding. Laurie Halse Anderson flying running forget He doesn't see my breasts or my waist or my hips. He only sees the nightmare. Laurie Halse Anderson eating-disorder nightmare hips This is wonderful, wonderful! Be the bird. You are the bird. Sacrifice yourself to abandoned family values. Laurie Halse Anderson sacrifice wonderful bird The stuffing/puking/stuffing/puking/stuffing/puking didn't make her skinny, it made her cry. Laurie Halse Anderson eating-disorder skinny cry
