Jesse Jackson was involved in a three-car crash this weekend. I understand that no one was hurt, but I understand that two of the women in the other cars are now pregnant. Jay Leno More Quotes by Jay Leno More Quotes From Jay Leno Sarah Palin has admitted she tried marijuana several years ago, but she did not like it. She said it distorted her perceptions, impaired her thinking, and she's hoping that the effects will eventually wear off. Jay Leno marijuana years thinking If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: Pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. Jay Leno toilets dog funny How many are worried about a government shutdown? How many are more worried about it starting back up? Jay Leno worried starting government CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three parts: regular, premium and unleaded. Jay Leno cnn iraq war Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells. Jay Leno holiday giving men President Bush fell off his mountain bike down on his ranch in Texas. A couple weeks ago, John Kerry fell off his bicycle. See, doesn't this make you miss President Clinton? That guy, he could ride anything without falling off. Jay Leno texas couple fall According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog. Jay Leno dog best-friend funny President Obama is currently on a week-long trip to Africa, where he will promote freedom, democracy, and economic opportunity. I guess he figured it hasn't worked here - so try it somewhere else. Jay Leno somewhere-else opportunity long I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good. Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder. Jay Leno self-esteem littles thinking President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida. Jay Leno florida strong believe President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress has officially declared war since Obamacare. Jay Leno obamacare military war The New York Times has had fake stories. CBS has had fake stories. And now Newsweek had a fake story. You realize the only one that hasn't had to print a retraction is the National Inquirer Jay Leno fake new-york stories Actually, you know who gave the shortest inauguration speech in history? George Washington. It was only like three minutes long. Well, sure. George Washington couldn't tell a lie. Jay Leno three long lying According to government auditors, the stimulus money is being held up because there aren't enough government workers to oversee the spending. So follow me, in other words, government workers who aren't there are needed to spend money we don't have to create jobs that don't exist. Jay Leno auditors government jobs We're heading for a gov. shutdown. This is serious. W/o the gov who will fail to inspect our airplanes? Who will fail to secure our borders? Who will put us 14 trillion dollars in debt? Jay Leno airplane dollars borders The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just be known as the Bullets. Jay Leno team names want A top geneticist at Stanford says human intelligence is declining. You know what that means? We are seeing Congress at its smartest and most effective right now. Jay Leno stanford congress mean The reigning Miss Canada has been arrested for punching out another woman in a bar fight.Quite frankly, I think it's refreshing to finally find one beauty pageant winner who is against world peace. Jay Leno fighting missing thinking American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade Iraq, the whole place is oil and cash. It's like Republican Disneyland. Jay Leno oil iraq president We should make politicians dress like race car drivers -- when they get money, make them wear the company logos on their suit. Jay Leno car race dresses
