Just think, if I was born one day earlier I would have written this yesterday. Tom Zegan More Quotes by Tom Zegan More Quotes From Tom Zegan My ex-wife thought that the grass was greener on the other side . . . so now she's mowing someone else's lawn. Tom Zegan My Favorite kind of animal is a stuffed one. Tom Zegan My mom was a truck driver and my dad use to call her a mother trucker. Tom Zegan My name translated into Chinese is "Hy Yu" Tom Zegan My plan is to live forever, so far so good. Tom Zegan Never Drink and Drive . . . you might spill. Tom Zegan Never judge a book by it's cover . . . judge it by it's price. Tom Zegan New and Improved actually means that the Old Stuff actually Sucked! Tom Zegan Next time I'd think twice about thinking twice. Tom Zegan Nine lives and counting. Tom Zegan Once I had a dog that died of lead poisoning . . . I shot him in the head. Tom Zegan One man's trash ends up another man's wife. Tom Zegan One time a waitress asked me how I wanted my eggs, I said "Cooked". Tom Zegan One time I bought a pound cake that weighed 14 ounces. Tom Zegan Paper will lie no matter what you put on it. Tom Zegan People are more likely to accept your ideas if you tell them that Barack Obama said it first. Tom Zegan People who live in Stone Houses shouldn't throw Glass. Tom Zegan Personally I don't care to watch a bunch of millionaires throw balls at each other. Tom Zegan Question for the Family Feud game show: "Name something that you can't say on TV. Tom Zegan Remember what I told you to forget? Tom Zegan
