Let freedom ka-ching...Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River. Stephen Colbert More Quotes by Stephen Colbert More Quotes From Stephen Colbert My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close. Stephen Colbert actingmomkids I love being onstage. I love the relationship with the audience. I love the letting go, the sense of discovery, the improvising. Stephen Colbert letting-godiscoverylove-is My brother Billy was the joke teller. My brother Jim had a really sharp, cutting wit. And the teller of long stories, that was my brother Ed. As a child, I just absorbed everything they said, and I was always in competition for the laughs. Stephen Colbert cuttingbrotherchildren America cannot afford a rally to restore sanity in the middle of a recession. Did you even consider how many panic-related jobs that might cost us in the fear-industrial complex? Stephen Colbert costjobsamerica We are divided between those who think with their heads and those who know with their heart. Consider Harriet Miers. If you think about Harriet Miers, of course her nomination is absurd. But the President didn't say he thought about his selection. He said this: "I know her heart." Notice how he said nothing about her brain? He didn't have to. He feels the truth about Harriet Miers. Stephen Colbert brainheartthinking If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister. Stephen Colbert flocksnoodlesthinking Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke. Stephen Colbert jokes Warning, I may contain more than a trace amount of nut. Stephen Colbert warningnutsmay Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset. Stephen Colbert spoonssunsetwant You don't look up truthiness in a book, you look it up in your gut. Stephen Colbert look-upbooklooks You should spend more time with your families; write that novel you've always wanted to write. You know, the one about the fearless reporter who stands up to the administration. You know - fiction. Stephen Colbert fearlessadministrationwriting The more you know, the sadder you get. Stephen Colbert knows I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Or, as it's known to Native Americans - Sarcastic You're Welcomesgiving. Stephen Colbert sarcasticwonderfulnative-american Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Stephen Colbert: Over 90 percent, that is unbelievable...in that it is not true. Only 3 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Kyle just rounded it up to the nearest 90. Stephen Colbert parenthoodabortiondoe Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you. Stephen Colbert i-promisenewspromise Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be described as insurance. Stephen Colbert obamacarepeopleneeds Obamacare takes effect in less than eight months. Do you realize what this means? If you go to the emergency room now, you'll be covered by the time you finally see a doctor. Stephen Colbert doctorseightmean Arby's: If I was about to be killed, I would eat it. Stephen Colbert ifs Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book. Stephen Colbert painconfusionbook NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either. Stephen Colbert nasascientistnerd
