Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking. Bill Burr More Quotes by Bill Burr More Quotes From Bill Burr Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be like, 'Alright, I got my hour down, people are coming to see me now. Now, I'm going to lean on the mike stand.' No, you gotta work even harder now. You got to top what you already did. Because they'll find someone else. Bill Burr hours comedy people I do my podcast on Mondays for a specific reason. A lot of people go to work and don't like their jobs. If you give people something to laugh about, it's good. Bill Burr monday jobs people I keep doing specials because I think there are a lot of people who make movies and TV who are fans of comedy - if they start to like you, they'll get a project going and call you in. Bill Burr fans people thinking There are no winners in this election [2016]. I paid attention to it for about two months and then it just started to depress me. At least Hillary's [Clinton] a politician, but the fact that you've got a guy from a reality TV show! I have to say, out of everything I've ever watched in sports - the greatest comebacks ever - watching [Donald Trump] get the nomination for the Republican Party is the most astounding thing I've ever seen. Bill Burr depressing party sports I heard a quote once in a documentary about a band that said you're better off owning everything 100 percent and selling 20,000 copies of an album than signing with a record company and selling a million copies. There has never been a truer statement about show business than that. Bill Burr documentaries albums band As much as Metallica rocked, they always had these song names... 'The Thing That Shouldn't Be'. 'The Chair That Wasn't There', you know? Bill Burr metallica names song I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage. Bill Burr psycho stage lying I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are really talented and scared to follow their talent because you don't know where it's going. Bill Burr giving people school People should be happy to see you when you show up to a club because you're a good person. And stop caring about what the industry is "looking for". Just say what you think is funny. . Bill Burr caring people thinking Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel. Bill Burr barrels shooting long I still remember the first gig where I got people going, it was Rascals in New Jersey, and the place was packed. I was scared. People were expecting me to be funny. I gotta be honest, every time I walk into a club, it's that same fear. Bill Burr gigs clubs people If this goes into sweatshop labor, I'm quitting this podcast. Bill Burr sweatshops quitting labor When you say, "there's no reason [to hit a woman]" that kills any examination as to how two people ended up at that place. When you say, "there's no reason," you cut out the build-up and you're just left with the act. How you gonna solve it if you don't figure it out? Bill Burr cutting two people I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with 'em. You just talk about life, and you distract them by throwing the ball. They don't even notice that you're filling up their heads with your theories. Bill Burr filling-up kids thinking I have this weird sort of Gemini thing where I can really be empathetic and a loving person. But if you piss me off, I can be one of the meanest, most sadistic people. Bill Burr empathetic sadistic people I enjoy collaborating with other people. Bill Burr collaborating enjoy people I am so pro-swine flu... I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the weak. Bill Burr flu want needs I was a feature one time and they gave me host money. When I called to complain the guy goes "no you didn't feature, you co-hosted". He literally invented a term so he didn't have to pay me. And obviously that check bounced! Bill Burr guy complaining pay Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live. Bill Burr mojave desert fun Comedians have the ability to feel other emotions. Bill Burr ability comedian emotion
