Mr. President, no one is saying you broke any laws, we're just saying it's a little bit weird you didn't have to. John Oliver More Quotes by John Oliver More Quotes From John Oliver I knew I was going to go into the field and make fun of people to their faces. I knew what I was getting into. John Oliver fields fun people I've made so many people angry that they kind of blur into one unpleasant memory of people staring at you with somewhere between passive aggression and active aggression. John Oliver kind memories people I feel non-stop Brit shame! John Oliver non-stop shame feels When you do stand-up, you're just concerned with trying to leave with some semblance of human dignity at the end of your performance. John Oliver dignity ends trying Obviously Christianity is the one true faith, but if Islam is correct, u are fucked. I mean you are power fucked." - John Oliver to Alex McFarland John Oliver While you're kind of conditioned at this point to think,' Absolutely none.' Pressure is building. John Oliver top-news Here's the thing about that, it is not only in the Panhandle where you can get away with that statement, you can now get away with this all over the country and, as he just made painfully clear, in any room the actual president is in, which is absolutely appalling. And that is something we can not afford to get numb to. Because if that ever even a moment feels like it's become normal, we are completely f *** ed. John Oliver entertainment Do it. Do it, i will personally write you a campaign check now, on behalf of this country, which does not want you to be president, but which badly wants you to run. John Oliver latest-headlines [Vice President Pence], clearly, to put it in the nicest possible terms, is not a friend of the LGBTQ community, so we, on top of that, have released our own book about his bunny where his bunny falls in love with another male bunny and gets married, because that’s the world that we want to live in. John Oliver latest-headlines It felt unavoidable and that we had to have a discussion about it, it wasn’t ideal that it became such a big story because then it became about my questions rather than his answers. The questions weren’t particularly remarkable, but his answers were kind of not great. John Oliver latest-headlines Here’s the problem. It increasingly seems like, if Donald Trump loses, we are not going to get the concession speech that the country badly needs, because Donald Trump is medically incapable of accepting that Donald Trump is Donald Trump, so we need to find a way for Donald Trump to give a concession speech, while Donald Trump’s still able to claim that Donald Trump won something. John Oliver latest-headlines It’s hard to even know what to do in the wake of an event like this. John Oliver latest-headlines It kind of reminds you that that dips--t terrorist is vastly outnumbered. John Oliver latest-headlines As it stands, any idiot can get into it, and I can prove that to you, because I’m an idiot and we started a debt-buying company, and it was disturbingly easy. John Oliver entertainment New Year Eve is like the death of a pet : You know New Year Eve's going to happen, but somehow, you're never really prepared for how truly awful New Year Eve is. John Oliver top-news You have to do stand-up quite a long time before you learn how to do it well. John Oliver you long-time time long In improv, the whole thing is that it is a relationship between the two people, as a back and forth. In standup, you don't really want to be listening to what somebody is saying; you want to project your jokes into their face. And that's really not a good instinct with a 'Daily Show' field piece, where it's supposed to be an interview. John Oliver daily good you relationship I'm not really much of an actor, so when I started on 'The Daily Show,' I was just trying to adopt the faux authority of a newsperson. Having a British accent definitely gave me a sonic leg up on that because there is a faux authority to the British accent in and of itself. John Oliver daily me authority trying I've said yes to everything that Jon Stewart has asked me to do. That's been a pretty good career decision, I think. John Oliver good think me decision What became clear was that the diocese was not going to be able to continue to carry out its spiritual, charitable and educational missions if it were to continue to shoulder the increasingly heavy burden of litigation expenses associated with these cases. John Oliver