Never waste a lie; you never know when you may need it. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain He charged nothing for his preaching and it was worth it too. Mark Twain preachingworkinspirational When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else. Mark Twain kentuckyworldyears A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. Mark Twain educationsuccessinspirational There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. Mark Twain your-best-friendsuccess I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever. Mark Twain particlesvicesmen Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it. Mark Twain marriagefunnydeath Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. Mark Twain appleswantmistake I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's. Mark Twain religiousmenreligion Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size. Mark Twain kingsinspirationalchildren Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.' Mark Twain inspirationkingsfunny Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it. Mark Twain garbagedatacommunication great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great. Mark Twain divorcekindnessfunny Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside; then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the results Mark Twain inkhotfeelings Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain sarcasticinspirationalfunny What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey. Mark Twain monkeysmenfather The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires. Mark Twain spiritmattermay The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetics in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve. Mark Twain biblicalinnovationdiscovery Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption. Mark Twain others-opinionsintelligentreal It liberates the vandal to travel-you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction. Mark Twain conceitedmeantravel Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. Mark Twain effortparentchildren
