Ninety percent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarrassment. Terry Pratchett More Quotes by Terry Pratchett More Quotes From Terry Pratchett I taught myself more in the library than school taught me. Terry Pratchett library taught school Everything happens for a reason, except possibly football. Terry Pratchett everything-happens-for-a-reason thieves football There are times when phrases such as 'totally astonished' just don't do the job. I am of course delighted and honoured and, needless to say, flabbergasted. Terry Pratchett courses phrases jobs Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken. Terry Pratchett kinky erotic differences Many feel they are called to the priesthood, but what they really hear is an inner voice saying, 'It's indoor work with no heavy lifting, do you want to be a ploughman like your father?' Terry Pratchett voice want father A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. Terry Pratchett discworld two people Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. Any water that had passed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed. Terry Pratchett citizens rivers water I [...] vowed that rather than let Alzheimer's take me, I would take it. I would live my life as ever to the full and die, before the disease mounted its last attack, in my own home, in a chair on the lawn, with a brandy in my hand to wash down whatever modern version of the "Brompton cocktail" some helpful medic could supply. And with Thomas Tallis on my iPod, I would shake hands with Death. Terry Pratchett ipods home life And so the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn't that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people. As soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn't measure up. Terry Pratchett government children people The worst thing you can do is nothing. Terry Pratchett change motivational positive And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built in to the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior. Terry Pratchett pain nature evil The IQ of a mob is the IQ of its dumbest member divided by the number of mobsters. Terry Pratchett mobster members numbers Consider the situation. There you are, forehead like a set of balconies, worrying about the long-term effects of all this new 'fire' stuff on the environment, you're being chased and eaten by most of the planet's large animals, and suddenly tiny versions of one of the worst of them wanders into the cave and starts to purr. Terry Pratchett cat animal funny I do not in fact use many puns. Certainly there are far fewer than people believe. But I suspect the ones I do occasionally use tend to hang around in people's memories for a while. Terry Pratchett memories believe people Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along. Terry Pratchett fate queens play Down there - he said - are people who will follow any dragon, worship any god, ignore any inequity. All out of a kind of humdrum, everyday badness. Not the really high, creative loathsomeness of the great sinners, but a sort of mass-produced darkness of the soul. Sin, you might say, without a trace of originality. They accept evil not because they say yes, but because they don't say no. Terry Pratchett dragons evil people Either all days are holy or none are. Terry Pratchett holy Just because things are obvious doesn't mean they're true. Terry Pratchett obvious mean Nothing has to be true forever. Just for long enough, to tell you the truth. Terry Pratchett enough forever long There were no lies here. All fancies fled away. That's what happened in all deserts. It was just you, and what you believed. Terry Pratchett desert fancy lying
