No wonder circus animals do what they do: They tortured them. And you know the only ones they can't control? It's the chimpanzees. You can't control them. That's why you never see a gorilla in a movie, because the gorilla may decide there'll be no filming.

Paul Mooney

Categorized in : Animal May Gorillas

A new broom can sweep the floor, but an old broom knows where the dirt is.

Paul Mooney

brooms dirt knows

People don't want to hear the truth, they never do. They wanna live in some kind of fantasy. And then when they get caught up in it, they start being in denial because they don't want to be wrong.

Paul Mooney

denial want people

If your hair is relaxed, white people are relaxed. If your hair is nappy, they're not happy.

Paul Mooney

white hair people

I have nothing to do with racism in America; it was here when I got here.

Paul Mooney

racism-in-america racism america

We have a lot of black Anglo-Saxons. Their skin is black, but their brain is white. When I get real mad at them, I call them graham crackers.

Paul Mooney

mad real white

People in America worship money, and a white man's face on a green piece of paper does not make me wealthy. My health makes me wealthy. I used to work at a hospital, so I know the real deal.

Paul Mooney

white-man real men

Listen, we've got one little ol' black president, and white folks are upset, but they've had 43.

Paul Mooney

upset black white

If you have money and you have fame, but you don't have any confidence in your blackness, then it's all for nothing.

Paul Mooney

blackness ifs fame

White people are very good at acting like they're not racist. They deserve an Academy Award for that.

Paul Mooney

awards white people

People think you're crazy if you turn money down... people worship money.

Paul Mooney

crazy people thinking

Hillary Clinton could say she was a woman and running for president. And Sarah Palin could say she was a woman and running for vice-president. But Obama couldn't say, 'I'm black and I'm running for president.' It couldn't come out of his mouth. He couldn't say that because, if he did, he'd lose votes.

Paul Mooney

black president running

You can't pick when you're touched. You can't pick the time. It just is. It's the reality. What it is, is. I can't change the past. I can only deal with the present and the future.

Paul Mooney

deals reality past

Whatever that thing is that white people like in blacks, I don't have it. Maybe it's my arrogance or my self-assurance or the way I carry myself, but whatever it is, I don't have it.

Paul Mooney

self white people

Handshaking means, 'I don't have a weapon.'

Paul Mooney

weapons mean

I can't change the past, but one person can change the future - anything can happen.

Paul Mooney

anything-can-happen cant-change past

America is racial. America was founded on race. Race is America. The code name for America is 'race.'

Paul Mooney

race names america

The political arena is the funniest.They [politicians] are always pretending to change, but they never change. They're the best actors and actresses in the world. They've always been hilarious since the beginning of time.

Paul Mooney

political actors world

I think about never losing my voice, never giving in, never selling out, always keeping black, always sticking to the street. Staying neighborhood and not Hollywood.

Paul Mooney

voice giving thinking

When I was 16 or 17, I saw Lenny Bruce being taken to jail. They took him off stage because he talked about race.

Paul Mooney

jail taken race

You got to remember that slavery's very complex. It has a lot of levels to it.

Paul Mooney

slavery levels remember