North Korea announced that they have nuclear weapons and they have no plans to give them up. The White House, acting quickly, announced their plan to invade Iran. Craig Ferguson More Quotes by Craig Ferguson More Quotes From Craig Ferguson Andy Warhol said that in the future everyone will be famous for 15 minutes. Facebook is exactly like that except you're not really famous and your 15 minutes goes on forever. Craig Ferguson warhol goes-on forever A lot of people come to L.A. looking for something. What I came here for, I realize now, is to be okay with myself. Craig Ferguson okay realizing people Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year trying to do jokes about Mitt Romney. Craig Ferguson trying years needs Time is only linear for engineers and referees. Craig Ferguson linear referee engineers Love at first sight is not rare, in fact it is extremely common, it happens to some people a few times a year. The feeling of what if when meeting the eyes of a stranger can be love unrecognized. Craig Ferguson eye sight years Being an American is something I wanted to be for a very long time, probably since I saw the moon landing when I was a child. Craig Ferguson moon long children Whoever I had become had to die. Craig Ferguson dies alcohol drinking Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy. Craig Ferguson london-olympics team funny Equestrian and sailing are sports for people growing up on the mean streets of Connecticut. Craig Ferguson growing-up sports funny HD doesn't mean anything to me. It's a technical thing. It's like demographics. A lot of people know about it. Craig Ferguson demographics mean people Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be awesome. The team from Mexico could wear those Mr. X masks. The French wrestler could hit his opponent with a baguette. Or perhaps just surrender. Craig Ferguson team basketball funny I think the scores for Olympic gymnastics are affected by what countries the judge and the gymnast are from. That's wrong. That type of political pandering isn't meant for gymnastic Olympic events. It's meant for the Supreme Court. Craig Ferguson gymnastics funny country It's fantastic that Congress has an increasing number of women. Experts call an increasingly female presence in a previously male space 'the Bruce Jenner effect.' Craig Ferguson males space numbers For the first time in history, Congress has 100 women in it. Congratulations. Welcome to modern times, America. It's great having 100 women in Congress. Unless you're in line for the congressional bathroom. Craig Ferguson congratulations lines america In the 1970s vampires were pretty boring. The scariest vampire was Count Chocula. One bite of Count Chocula and you were cursed with Type 2 diabetes. Craig Ferguson type-2-diabetes vampire boring The 'Star Wars' movie is coming out. Disney has kept the details of the movie under wraps because they're not Sony. Craig Ferguson details stars war I hope what I do has an art to it, and as an artist you have to try new things and keep yourself entertained. Craig Ferguson artist trying art There are rumors that there is a John Edwards sex tape. People say it's twenty minutes of Edwards caressing and stroking...And that's just the part where he fixes his hair. Craig Ferguson hair sex people When I went out on tour as Bing Hitler I would hook up with Lenny and we'd get drunk together. He was always very supportive. He was a big star and a lot of what he said to me had power and impact. Apart from that, I just like him. Craig Ferguson impact drunk stars He was in awe of the thirst that people had for someone to tell them that everything was going to be all right. He marveled at the gullibility and vulnerability of his fellow humans. No wonder the churches called them sheep. They were woolly-headed pack animals being herded around for the benefit of whoever knew how to control the dogs. Craig Ferguson dog sheep animal
