Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. Josh Billings More Quotes by Josh Billings More Quotes From Josh Billings The man who has never been tempted doesn't know how dishonest he is. Josh Billings tempted he-man men the squeeky wheel gets the grease. Josh Billings obviousness grease wheels Silence never makes any blunders. Josh Billings blunders silence Society is composed of slow Christians and wide-awake sinners. Josh Billings wide-awake society christian As long as we are lucky we attribute it to our smartness; our bad luck we give the gods credit for. Josh Billings success giving long Man isn't a fool for his ignorance, but rather for believing things that are wrong. Josh Billings ignorance men believe Some folks as they grow older grow wise but most folks simply grow stubborner. Josh Billings aging folks wise I do not know of a better cure for sorrow than to pity somebody else. Josh Billings pity cures sorrow The soul has more diseases than the body. Josh Billings disease body soul I am a poor man, but I have this consolation: I am poor by accident, not by design. Josh Billings poverty design men Wisdom that don't make us happier ain't worth plowing for. Josh Billings plowing There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister. Josh Billings endearment fellows substitutes Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff; ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE. Josh Billings ignorance stuff There's one good thing about tight shoes; they make you forget your other troubles. Josh Billings forget-you shoes trouble Stupidity,--unconscious ignorance. Josh Billings unconscious stupidity ignorance Waves are inspiring not because they rise and fail, but because each time they fall. They never fail to rise again. Josh Billings wave failing fall Fortune is like a coquette; if you don't run after her, she will run after you. Josh Billings coquette fortune running Hunting after happiness is like hunting after a lost sheep in the wilderness--when you find it, the chances are that it is a skeleton. Josh Billings skeletons hunting happiness No one can disgrace us but ourselves. Josh Billings self-respect comedy self-esteem There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree. Josh Billings good-judges agree judging