Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers. Lenny Bruce More Quotes by Lenny Bruce More Quotes From Lenny Bruce Never trust a preacher with more than two suits. Lenny Bruce never-trust suits two There are never enough I Love You's. Lenny Bruce love-you cute love To say whatever nonsense comes into your head without any repercussions has got to be a bigger high than heckling a movie screen in a darkened theater. Lenny Bruce heckling nonsense theater Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago. Lenny Bruce long-ago lying people What is truth today may be a damn lie next week. Lenny Bruce truth next-week lying I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century. Lenny Bruce curves tests heaven That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker. Lenny Bruce sunday teacher school Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter. Lenny Bruce laughter pain struggle Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich. Lenny Bruce sand ostriches humans Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days. Lenny Bruce atheism three christ My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her. Lenny Bruce mother home men Once you take away the struggle for food, clothing and shelter, work is the one four letter word that offends everyone. Lenny Bruce shelter four struggle I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write songs like, "What I'm going to do if I grow up". Lenny Bruce growing-up humorous education A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know. Lenny Bruce party hands people I've been accused of bad taste, and I'll go down to my grave accused of it and always by the same people, the ones who eat in restaurants that reserve the right to refuse service to anyone. Lenny Bruce restaurants taste people Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do. Lenny Bruce marriage love-you believe You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth. Lenny Bruce crooked politician lying The thing with Catholicism, the same as all religions, is that it teaches what should be, which seems rather incorrect. This is what should be. Now, if you're taught to live up to a what should be that never existed - only an occult superstition, no proof of this should be - then you can sit on a jury and indict easily, you can cast the first stone, you can burn Adolf Eichmann, like that! Lenny Bruce superstitions stones religion Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God. Lenny Bruce inspirational life funny Every tribe needs a good front man to sell the program. Who better to convince the Middle East to give up the oil, than a brown man with a Muslim name? Lenny Bruce giving-up names men
