One and one is two, and two and two is four, and five will get you ten if you know how to work it. Mae West More Quotes by Mae West More Quotes From Mae West Imagine censors that wouldn't let you sit in a man's lap. I've been in more laps than a napkin! Mae West napkins lap men I've been in 'Who's Who' and I know what's what, but it'll be the first time I ever made the dictionary. Mae West first-time made firsts I never needed Panavision and stereophonic sound to woo the world. I did it in black and white on a screen the size of a postage stamp. Honey, that's talent. Mae West black-and-white sound world I saw what a mess a lot of people could make of their lives when they're smitten. Some of them go temporarily insane. They find a person who they think holds the key to their happiness-the only key to their happiness... My work has always been my greatest happiness Mae West sarcastic humorous witty Woman: You certainly know the way to a man's heart. Mae West: Funny, too, 'cause I don't know how to cook. Mae West heart men way All the raves were just words. You don't want to let words confuse you. Words come cheap. Mae West rave want One more drink and I'll be under the host. Mae West women food sex A real farmer. He spent his childhood in the wheat, and his marriage in the hay. Mae West hay childhood real I've always had a weakness for foreign affairs. Mae West affair weakness lovers I always did like a man in uniform. And that one fits you grand. Why don't you come up sometime and see me? Mae West flirting uniforms men Hollywood was like a mouse being followed by a cat called television. Mae West hollywood cat television Come up and see me sometime. Mae West come-up dancing dance Tira begins to sing "I'm No Angel" to him as the screen fades: Baby, I can warm you with this love of mine. I'm No Angel. Aw, let me feel my fingers running through your hair, I can give you kisses. . . . Mae West running baby love How tall are you big boy? Six foot nine inches! Let's go up to my place and talk about the nine inches! Mae West nine feet boys Pour him out of here! Mae West drinking Flattery will get you everywhere. Mae West flattery Beulah, peel me a grape Mae West grapes inspiration I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going before you've still got them. Mae West sarcastic humorous witty When you think about it, what other playwrights are there besides O'Neill, Tennessee and me? Mae West theater tennessee thinking Ya know it was a toss-up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost. Mae West choir toss lost
