People who are optimistic see a failure as due to something that can be changed so that they can succeed next time around, while pessimists take the blame for the failure, ascribing it to some characteristic they are helpless to change. Daniel Goleman More Quotes by Daniel Goleman More Quotes From Daniel Goleman Happy, calm children learn best Daniel Goleman calm classroom children A prerequisite to empathy is simply paying attention to the person in pain. Daniel Goleman empathy pain attention People learn what they want to learn. If learning is forced on us, even if we master it temporarily, it is soon forgotten. Daniel Goleman passion learning people Worries typically follow such lines, a narrative to oneself that jumps from concern to concern and more often than not includes catastrophizing, imagining some terrible tragedy. Worries are almost always expressed in the mind's ear, not its eye - that is, in words, not images - a fact that has significance for controlling worry. Daniel Goleman eye mind worry The more time you put into practicing, then, the greater the payoff. Daniel Goleman practice motivational sports What seems to set apart those at the very top of competitive pursuits from others of roughly equal ability is the degree to which, beginning early in life, they can pursue an arduous practice routine for years and years. Daniel Goleman degrees practice years The near cousin of optimism is hope: knowing the steps needed to get to a goal and having the energy to pursue those steps. It is a primal motivating force, and its absence is paralyzing. Daniel Goleman cousin optimism knowing Western business people often don't get the importance of establishing human relationships. Daniel Goleman importance western people Positive work environments outperform negative work environments. Daniel Goleman positive-work being-positive negative Remember, empathy need not lead to sympathetically giving in to the other side’s demands—knowing how someone feels does not mean agreeing with them. Daniel Goleman knowing giving mean Threats to our standing in the eyes of others are remarkably potent biologically, almost as powerful as those to our very survival. Daniel Goleman survival powerful eye Risk taking and the drive to pursue innovative ideas are the fuel that stokes the entrepreneurial spirit. Daniel Goleman fuel risk ideas As a freshman in college, I was having a lot of trouble adjusting. I took a meditation class to handle anxiety. It really helped. Then as a grad student at Harvard, I was awarded a pre-doctoral traveling fellowship to India, where my focus was on the ancient systems of psychology and meditation practices of Asia. Daniel Goleman meditation-practice college class The amygdala in the emotional center sees and hears everything that occurs to us instantaneously and is the trigger point for the fight or flight response. Daniel Goleman flight emotional fighting Every morning, I go off to a small studio behind my house to write. I try to ignore all email and phone calls until lunchtime. Then I launch into the sometimes frantic busy-ness of a tightly scheduled day. Daniel Goleman phones writing morning Motivation aside, if people get better at these life skills, everyone benefits: The brain doesn't distinguish between being a more empathic manager and a more empathic father. Daniel Goleman skills motivational father Daydreaming defeats practice; those of us who browse TV while working out will never reach the top ranks. Paying full attention seems to boost the mind's processing speed, strengthen synaptic connections, and expand or create neural networks for what we are practicing. Daniel Goleman work-out practice motivational The people we get along with, trust, feel simpatico with, are the strongest links in our networks Daniel Goleman simpatico links people Who does not recall school at least in part as endless dreary hours of boredom punctuated by moments of high anxiety? Daniel Goleman boredom anxiety school One of the leading theories of why electroconvulsive therapy is effective for most severe depressions is that it causes a loss of short-term memory - patients feel better because they can't remember why they were sad. Daniel Goleman feel-better loss memories