PRE-ADAMITE, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race of antedated Creation. . . . Little its known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy. Ambrose Bierce More Quotes by Ambrose Bierce More Quotes From Ambrose Bierce UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and the luminiferous ether only. Ambrose Bierce ubiquity power time HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging. Ambrose Bierce cooking food needs Immoral: Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes to be considered wrong, wicked, immoral. If mans notions of right and wrong have any other basis than this of expediency; if they originated, or could have originated, in any other way; if actions have in themselves a moral character apart from and nowise dependent on, their consequences-then all philosophy is a lie and reason a disorder of the mind. Ambrose Bierce running philosophy lying GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These [quills] when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. Ambrose Bierce feelings writing bird PARDON, v. To remit a penalty and restore to the life of crime. To add to the lure of crime the temptation of ingratitude. Ambrose Bierce temptation add life OPERA, n. A play representing life in another world, whose inhabitants have no speech but song, no motions but gestures and no postures but attitudes. Ambrose Bierce song attitude life ORPHAN, n. A living person whom death has deprived of the power of filial ingratitude . . . Ambrose Bierce power life death NOBLEMAN, n. Nature's provision for wealthy American minds ambitious to incur social distinction and suffer high life. Ambrose Bierce nature mind life PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn. Ambrose Bierce learning fashion feelings SATIETY, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam. Ambrose Bierce cooking feelings food PRESENTABLE, adj. Hideously appareled after the manner of the time and place. Ambrose Bierce time INCOMPATIBILITY, n. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. Incompatibility may, however, consist of a meek-eyed matron living just around the corner. It has even been known to wear a moustache. Ambrose Bierce justice may life EXISTENCE, n. A transient, horrible, fantastic dream,/ Wherein is nothing yet all things do seem:/ From which we're wakened by a friendly nudge/ Of our bedfellow Death, and cry: "O fudge!" Ambrose Bierce nudge-nudge dream friendly PILLORY, n. A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction - prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives. Ambrose Bierce modern virtue life CALAMITY, n. A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. Ambrose Bierce kind life two MULTITUDE, n. A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration. Ambrose Bierce crowds political wisdom EPIGRAM, n. A short, sharp saying in prose or verse, frequently characterize by acidity or acerbity and sometimes by wisdom. Ambrose Bierce prose wisdom sometimes QUIXOTIC, adj. Absurdly chivalric, like Don Quixote. An insight into the beauty and excellence of this incomparable adjective is unhappily denied to him who has the misfortune to know that the gentleman's name is pronounced Ke-ho-tay. Ambrose Bierce gentleman names beauty ACKNOWLEDGE, v.t. To confess. Acknowledgment of one another's faults is the highest duty imposed by our love of truth. Ambrose Bierce faults truth love LEAD, n. A heavy blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers - particularly to those who love not wisely but other men's wives. Ambrose Bierce light love men
