Reading... a vacation for the mind. Dave Barry More Quotes by Dave Barry More Quotes From Dave Barry Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes. Dave Barry information technology memories San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions. Dave Barry san-francisco funny travel Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you. Dave Barry funny people travel Here in the news media, our focus is on speed. When we get hold of some new and possibly inaccurate information, our highest priority is to get it to you, the public, before our competitors do. If the news media owned airlines, there would be a lot less concern about how many planes crashed, and a lot more concern about whose plane hit the ground first. Dave Barry priorities media funny Be advised that there is no parking in Europe. Dave Barry europe funny travel Greyhound Bus Lines motto: "We Stop For Some Damn Thing Every 200 Yards." Dave Barry yards funny travel Never trust anything you read in a travel article. Dave Barry never-trust funny travel Always remember that if editors were so damned smart, they would know how to dress. Dave Barry smart editors writing When my generation was your age, we took crazy risks. The wildest thing was - prepare to be shocked - we deliberately ingested carbohydrates! Dave Barry risk crazy inspirational One of the issues that we professional newspaper columnists are required by union regulations to voice grave concern about is the federal budget deficit, which we refer to as the "mounting" deficit, because every extra word helps when you have to produce a certain number of gravely concerned newsprint inches. Dave Barry voice numbers funny Today's beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paper clip. Dave Barry media paper funny Spreadsheet: a kind of program that lets you sit at your desk and ask all kinds of neat "what if?" questions and generate thousands of numbers instead of actually working. Dave Barry what-if kind numbers By today's beauty standards, of course, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker. Dave Barry oil beauty funny I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else. Dave Barry terrible golf looks It is a well- known fact that although the public is fine when taken individually, when it forms itself into large groups, it tends to act as though it has one partially consumed Pez tablet for a brain. Dave Barry groups taken brain One night in Tokyo we watched two Japanese businessmen saying good-night to each other after what had clearly been a long night of drinking, a major participant sport in Japan. These men were totally snockered, having reached the stage of inebriation wherein every air molecule that struck caused them to wobble slightly, but they still managed to behave more formally than Americans do at funerals. Dave Barry good-night sports funny As the saying goes: "If you're not part of the solution, you're a newspaper columnist." Dave Barry journalism newspapers funny As a professional journalist, I have always been fascinated by people who appear to have even more spare time than I do. Dave Barry journalism funny people The Ford Falcon holds the proud title of Slowest Car Ever Built. In certain areas of the country you can go to a stoplight and find Falcon drivers who pressed down on their accelerators in 1963 and are still waiting for their cars to move. Dave Barry car country moving Childbirth, as a strictly physical phenomenon, is comparable to driving a United Parcel truck through an inner tube. Dave Barry inns truck driving
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