RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself. Ambrose Bierce More Quotes by Ambrose Bierce More Quotes From Ambrose Bierce We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are Ambrose Bierce rights running men Monsieur Franqulin, inventor of electricity. This Ambrose Bierce savages sandwiches islands According to the most trustworthy statistics the number of adult Dullards in the United States is but little short of thirty millions, including the statisticians. Ambrose Bierce united-states adults numbers BATH, n. A kind of mystic ceremony substituted for religious worship, with what spiritual efficacy has not been determined. Ambrose Bierce religious spiritual religion WALL STREET, n. A symbol for sin for every devil to rebuke. That Wall Street is a den of thieves is a belief that serves every unsuccessful thief in place of a hope in Heaven. Ambrose Bierce wall success heaven Hope is desire and expectation rolled into one. Ambrose Bierce hopeful hope expectations FEMALE, n. One of the opposing, or unfair, sex. Ambrose Bierce female science sex SACERDOTALIST, n. One who holds the belief that a clergyman is a priest. Denial of this momentous doctrine is the hardest challenge that is now flung into the teeth of the Episcopalian church by the Neo-Dictionarians. Ambrose Bierce teeth church challenges ASPERSE, v.t. Maliciously to ascribe to another vicious actions which one has not had the temptation and opportunity to commit. Ambrose Bierce temptation action opportunity RUIN, v. To destroy. Specifically, to destroy a maid's belief in the virtue of maids. Ambrose Bierce maids ruins belief PREFERENCE, n. A sentiment, or frame of mind, induced by the erroneous belief that one thing is better than another. Ambrose Bierce belief mind time TALK, v.t. To commit an indiscretion without temptation, from an impulse without purpose. Ambrose Bierce impulse purpose temptation In forgiving an injury be somewhat ceremonious, lest your magnanimity be construed as indifference. Ambrose Bierce injury indifference forgiving Children who have proven themselves to be incorrigible by the age of twelve should be quickly and quietly beheaded, lest they grow to maturity, marry, and perpetuate the likeness of their being. Ambrose Bierce maturity age children GRAVITATION, n. The tendency of all bodies to approach one another with a strength proportioned to the quantity of matter they contain-the quantity of matter they contain being ascertained by the strength of their tendency to approach one another. This is a lovely and edifying illustration of how science, having made A the proof of B, makes B the proof of A. Ambrose Bierce lovely illustration science One of the greatest of poets, Coleridge was one of the wisest of men, and it was not for nothing that he read us this parable. Let us have a little less of "hands across the sea," and a little more of that elemental distrust that is the security of nations. War loves to come like a thief in the night; professions of eternal amity provide the night. Ambrose Bierce men night war Liberty is one of the imagination's most precious possessions. Ambrose Bierce precious-possessions liberty imagination Self-restraint is indulgence of the propensity to forgo. Ambrose Bierce indulgence restraint self HIBERNATE, v. i. To pass the winter season in domestic seclusion. There have been many singular popular notions about the hibernation of various animals. Many believe that the bear hibernates during the whole winter and subsists by mechanically sucking its paws. It is admitted that it comes out of its retirement in the spring so lean that it has to try twice before it can cast a shadow. Ambrose Bierce spring retirement believe GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed. Ambrose Bierce writing character science
