RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself. Ambrose Bierce More Quotes by Ambrose Bierce More Quotes From Ambrose Bierce The speech of one who utters with his tongue what he thinks with his ear, and feels the pride of a creator in accomplishing the feat of a parrot. A means (under Providence) of setting up as a wit without a capital of sense. Ambrose Bierce pride mean thinking There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. Ambrose Bierce fool genius LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia. Ambrose Bierce illustration men son RAREBIT n. A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that riz-de-veau à la financière is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker. Ambrose Bierce cooking food bankers Convictions are variable; to be always consistent is to be sometimes dishonest. Ambrose Bierce variables conviction sometimes The most offensive egotist is he that fears to say "I" and "me." "It will probably rain" - that is dogmatic. "I think it will rain" - that is natural and modest. Montaigne is the most delightful of essayists because so great is his humility that he does not think it important that we see not Montaigne. He so forgets himself that he employs no artifice to make us forget him. Ambrose Bierce humility rain thinking He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity. Ambrose Bierce alacrity believe thinking The game of discontent has its rules, and he who disregards them cheats. It is not permitted to you to wish to add another's advantages or possessions to your own; you are permitted only to wish to be another. Ambrose Bierce games wish add To Dogmatism the Spirit of Inquiry is the same as the Spirit of Evil. Ambrose Bierce inquiry spirit evil An army's bravest men are its cowards. The death which they would not meet at the hands of the enemy they will meet at the hands of their officers, with never a flinching. Ambrose Bierce army men hands When prosperous the fool trembles for the evil that is to come; in adversity the philosopher smiles for the good that he has had. Ambrose Bierce fool adversity evil Slang is a foul pool at which every dunce fills his bucket, and then sets up as a fountain. Ambrose Bierce buckets fountain pool A man is the sum of his ancestors; to reform him you must begin with a dead ape and work downward through a million graves. He is like the lower end of a suspended chain; you can sway him slightly to the right or the left, but remove your hand and he falls into line with the other links. Ambrose Bierce men hands fall The money-getter who pleads his love of work has a lame defense, for love of work at money-getting is a lower taste than love of money. Ambrose Bierce lame his-love defense The palmist looks at the wrinkles made by closing the hand and says they signify character. The philosopher reads character by what the hand most loves to close upon. Ambrose Bierce wrinkles character hands Wisdom is known only by contrasting it with folly; by shadow only we perceive that all visible objects are not flat. Yet Philanthropos would abolish evil! Ambrose Bierce flats shadow evil While you have a future do not live too much in contemplation of your past: unless you are content to walk backward the mirror is a poor guide. Ambrose Bierce too-much mirrors past Nonsense, n. The objections that are urged against this excellent dictionary. Ambrose Bierce dictionary nonsense excellent PORTUGUESE, n.pl. A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic. Ambrose Bierce portugal cooking food PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion. Ambrose Bierce pie names food
