Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful. I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel -- it's vulgar. Molly Ivins More Quotes by Molly Ivins More Quotes From Molly Ivins One thing that corporations do not do is give out money out of the goodness of their hearts. Molly Ivins deregulation heart giving I believe in practicing prudence at least once every two or three years. Molly Ivins women believe years Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Molly Ivins humor looks thinking I still believe in Hope - mostly because there's no such place as Fingers Crossed, Arkansas. Molly Ivins arkansas faith believe As I have pointed out time and again, it's a hell of a lot cheaper to send little kids to school than it is to let them grow up into young thugs who have to be sent to prison, not to mention the savings in the wear and tear on the nerves, property, and safety of the rest of the citizenry. Molly Ivins growing-up kids school If an armed nation were a polite nation, America would be paradise. We have more than 200 million guns in private owernship here. But our manners are not getting better. Molly Ivins get-better gun america Having breast cancer is massive amounts of no fun. First they mutilate you; then they poison you; then they burn you. I have been on blind dates better than that. Molly Ivins cancer fun firsts In the first place, any group of folks willing to make asses of themselves in pursuit of a good time should be commended and encouraged: The spirit of human frolic needs all the help it can get. Molly Ivins groups needs firsts the pyramids were built for pharaohs on the happy theory that they could take their stuff with them. Versailles was built for kings on the theory that they should live surrounded by the finest stuff. The Mall of America is built on the premise that we should all be able to afford this stuff. It may be a shallow culture, but it's by-God democratic. Sneer if you dare; this is something new in world history. Molly Ivins shopping pyramids kings Rank imperialism and warmongering are not American traditions or values. We do not need to dominate the world. Molly Ivins tradition world needs With politicians, artful evasion is always preferable to the outright lie. Molly Ivins evasion politician lying I used to go on college campuses 25 years ago and announce I was a feminist, and people thought it meant I believed in free love and was available for a quick hop in the sack. ... Now I go on college campuses and say I'm a feminist, and half of them think it means I'm a lesbian. How'd we get from there to here without passing "Go"? Molly Ivins college inspiring mean Oh, hell, I can’t go on a spiritual journey—I'm constipated. Molly Ivins journey spiritual goes-on The Founders were right all along, but the results are a lot funnier than they intended. Molly Ivins founders results Some days, I'd feel better with Punxsutawney Phil in the Oval Office - at least he doesn't lie about the weather. Molly Ivins feel-better weather lying The first rule of holes: When you're in one stop digging. Molly Ivins digging politics political Economist Frederick Thayer has studied the history of our balanced-budget crusades and has come up with some depressing statistics. We have had six major depressions in our history (1819, 1837, 1857, 1873, 1893 and 1929); all six of them followed sustained periods of reducing the national debt. We have had almost chronic deficits since the 1930s, and there has been no depression since then - the longest crash-free period in our history. Molly Ivins debt depressing statistics Naturally, when it comes to voting, we in Texas are accustomed to discerning that fine hair’s-breadth worth of difference that makes one hopeless dipstick slightly less awful than the other. But it does raise the question: Why bother? Molly Ivins differences texas hair One function of the income gap is that the people at the top of the heap have a hard time even seeing those at the bottom. They practically need a telescope. The pharaohs of ancient Egypt probably didn't was a lot of time thinking about the people who build their pyramids, either. Molly Ivins egypt hard-times thinking The government can now delve into personal and private records of individuals even if they cannot be directly connected to a terrorist or foreign government. Bank records, e-mails, library records, even the track of discount cards at grocery stores can be obtained on individuals without establishing any connection to a terrorist before a judge. According to the Los Angeles Times, Al Qaeda uses sophisticated encryption devices freely available on the Internet that cannot be cracked. So the terrorists are safe from cyber-snooping, but we're not. Molly Ivins track government judging
