So if you're negative, you live longer? That sounds like a cruel joke. Jon Stewart More Quotes by Jon Stewart More Quotes From Jon Stewart The thing that [the Senate and the House] don't realize is that everyone wants them to come from beyond that contradiction so that we can all fix it. Nobody is saying, "We don't have a problem." Nobody is saying that, "9/11 didn't happen." What they're saying is, "We're not a fragile country, trust us to have this conversation, so that we can do this in the right way, in a more effective way." Jon Stewart housewantcountry Bill Russell, a famous philosopher from Boston Celtics once "When things go bad, things go bad." The [Iraq] war was terribly mismanaged-it was terribly mismanaged. Jon Stewart bostoniraqwar One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize a busy and relatively affluent country, unless it's over really crucial- you know, foundational issues. Jon Stewart governmentcountrythinking The President says, "We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come." Jon Stewart battlefightingpresident I don't consider myself a serious and social political critic. Jon Stewart politicalserioussocial [When you have kids] you become much more - there are two things that happen. You recognize how fragile individuals are, and you recognize the strength of the general overall group, but you don't care anymore. You're just fighting for the one thing. See and then, you also recognize that everybody, then, is also somebody's child. Jon Stewart fightingkidschildren The next four years, though, you still have to abide by the oversight process that is there to prevent this kind of bizarre sort of cult-like atmosphere that falls along. I mean, I accept that kind of veil of secrecy around Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but I don't accept that around our government. Jon Stewart meanyearsfall I feel like the only thing that I can do, and I've been fired from enough jobs, that I'm pretty confident in saying this, the only thing that I can do, even a little bit better than most people, is create that sort of that context with humor. And that's my way of not being helpless and not being hopeless. Jon Stewart littlesjobspeople People don't understand that we're not warriors in their cause. We're a group of people that really feel that they want to write jokes about the absurdity that we see in government and the world and all that, and that's it. Jon Stewart warriorgovernmentwriting I think, with the administration they do Constitutionally-mandated things most of the time, but they don't - they fulfill the letter of their obligation to checks and balances, but not the intent. Jon Stewart balancelettersthinking The important thing is, that I guess I don't spend any time thinking about what I am or what we do means. I spend my time doing it. Jon Stewart importantmeanthinking I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. Jon Stewart tvsfeelspeople Bush proposed a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Some saw the move as an attempt to preserve traditional values, while others saw it as a cynical ploy to ensure that Vice President... Cheney will never have to pay for his gay daughter's wedding. Jon Stewart gaydaughtermoving War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country. Jon Stewart warcountryyears The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor. Jon Stewart oppressionjust-beingbecoming By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams. Jon Stewart bottlesbrokendream I am sick of deconstructing their propaganda, because it's pretty much the same as it's always been. It's just repeating something over and over again until we believe it and we hope that you believe it. Jon Stewart propagandasickbelieve You can have all the muskets you want! You can even have assault muskets!...Their (the NRA's) paranoid fear of a possible dystopic future prevents us from addressing our actual dystopic present. We can't even begin to address 30,000 gun deaths that are actually, in reality, happening in this country every year because a few of us must remain vigilant against the rise of an imaginary Hitler. Jon Stewart guncountryreality But that hair? That is comedy entrapment. People are not attacking your hair, they are defending themselves from something that appears like it's about to attack them. Jon Stewart comedyhairpeople I think you are looking at sexuality and not attributes, and I think it's odd because the conservative mantra is a meritocracy. And I think what you're suggesting is the fact that being gay parents makes you not as good as others. And I would suggest that a loving, gay family with a financially secure background beats the hell out of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline any day of the week. Jon Stewart gayparentthinking
