So they caught Gadhafi in a storm sewer and shot him. Or as they call it in the Middle East, an orderly transfer of power. David Letterman More Quotes by David Letterman More Quotes From David Letterman They're saying now that Rick Santorum is gaining momentum because he's not Romney. And Mitt Romney was furious. He replied, 'Well, I can do that. David Letterman furious momentum wells New Republican Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is fluent in Chinese. In a short period of time the Republicans have come quite a long way. The last Republican president wasn't even fluent in English. David Letterman presidential chinese long Newt Gingrich has criticized 'New York elites' who ride the subway. One of those subway elites threw up on my pants this morning. David Letterman pants new-york morning Mitt Romney said he's not concerned about the very poor. What he means is people making less than a million. David Letterman poor mean people I'm having trouble warming up to Mitt Romney. He looks like the guy in the restaurant that comes to your table to make sure everything's all right. David Letterman guy tables looks Newt Gingrich wants to build a colony on the Moon. OK, you say, but why? Well, he wants to be the first American to get divorced on the Moon. David Letterman moon want firsts Mitt Romney said that he liked to fire people. Well, there's a pretty good message to send to Middle America. When Rick Perry heard that, he said, 'Well that's nothing. I like to execute people.' David Letterman fire america people Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. David Letterman sarcastic eye funny Final installment of Things More Fun Than Reading the Sarah Palin Memoir: Driving into a tree, microwaving your head, and getting stabbed in the eye with a carrot. David Letterman eye reading fun Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale. David Letterman mathematical ability sarcastic Snooki is now a published author. I'm blaming Sarah Palin. She lowered the bar. David Letterman snooki blame bars When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price? David Letterman intelligence sarcastic mind Herman Cain was unaware that China is a nuclear power. And I said to myself, 'Hey, Herman, how about making an unwanted advance on a history book?' David Letterman nuclear hey book I pulled a hamstring during the New York City Marathon. An hour into the race, I jumped off the couch. David Letterman cities new-york running Mitt Romney was a guest on 'The Tonight Show' on NBC. It's interesting — you have an empty suit trying to please everyone, and then Romney comes out. David Letterman nbc trying interesting Don't kid yourself. Global warming is no joke. Here's how serious global warming has gotten to be in the United States. In this country global warming is so bad, we are now actually starting to warm up to Barry Bonds. David Letterman serious country kids Two creative spirits in a relationship, I don't think that's the best way to go. David Letterman relationship two thinking Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever. David Letterman espresso coffee personality Osama bin Laden... lived in one house for, like, six years with three wives. And earlier today, they ruled his death was a suicide. David Letterman wife suicide years Newt Gingrich's campaign is broke. All the money gone. So now he's charging $50 for a photo. And for $100 you can marry him. David Letterman broke campaigns gone
