Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. Johnny Carson More Quotes by Johnny Carson More Quotes From Johnny Carson The Hollywood tradition I like best is called sucking up to the stars. Johnny Carson tradition hollywood stars Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money. Johnny Carson important worry giving Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto. Usually a mop or a leaf blower. Johnny Carson land giving people People are brought up to think, "It's nice to be modest. It's nice to hide your light under a bushel." Well, bullshit! I've never bought that. In my business, the only thing you've really got is your talent; it's the only thing you have to sell. Johnny Carson nice light thinking Democracy is the eagle on the back of a dollar bill, with 13 arrows in one claw, 13 leaves on a branch, 13 tail feathers, and 13 stars over its head - this signifies that when the white man came to this country, it was bad luck for the Indians, bad luck for the trees, bad luck for the wildlife, and lights out for the American eagle. Johnny Carson stars men country As for being sociable, I hate the phoniness in the showbiz world. I know this will be taken wrong, but I don't like clubs and organizations. I was never a joiner. Johnny Carson hate organization taken Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially if he's a comedian. Johnny Carson comedian views want I heard from my cat's lawyer today; my cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles. Johnny Carson cat want today I can empathize with President [George Bush]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over. Johnny Carson waiting-around guy president Maybe we should hold the next [Olympic] games in Afghanistan and hope the Soviets pull out of that one too. Johnny Carson games war peace It was so hot today I saw a robin dipping his worm in Nestea.It was so hot today I saw a pigeon walking in the shadow of Orson Welles.It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself. Johnny Carson singing shadow kings The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds. Johnny Carson independence issues stress I see a lot of new faces. Especially on the old faces. Johnny Carson new-faces faces In 1932, lame duck president Herbert Hoover was so desperate to remain in the White House that he dressed up as Eleanor Roosevelt. When FDR discovered the hoax in 1936, the two men decided to stay together for the sake of the children. Johnny Carson men two children There was this billy goat at a movie studio who found and ate a can of film. When a nanny asked him how he liked it, he said, "It was all right but I liked the book better." Johnny Carson nannies goats book The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year. Johnny Carson champagne drinking years I am one of the lucky people in the world; I found something I always wanted to do, and I have enjoyed every single minute of it. Johnny Carson lucky people world From the time I was a little kid, I was always shy. Performing was when I was outgoing. So I guess I am a loner. I get claustrophobia if a lot of people are around. Johnny Carson loner kids people Pittsburgh is kind of like Newark without the cultural advantages. Johnny Carson pittsburgh advantage kind They say atomic rad-i-ation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them. Johnny Carson hockey hurt answers
