Sometimes I feel like the Tom Hanks character in Big. But my life is not a movie. I never have to go back to Coney Island to find the fortune-teller machine so I have to grow up again. Shaquille O'Neal More Quotes by Shaquille O'Neal More Quotes From Shaquille O'Neal Phil took us to the finals three out of the five years and you want to fire him and want to bring in Mike Krzyzewski? Come on, man. That's like being married to J-Lo, then dropping J-Lo for a girl that's 5-10, 480 (pounds). Shaquille O'Neal girl basketball winning I feel like Bill Walton - old and shitty. Shaquille O'Neal nba bills funny And if the big dog ain't me, then the house won't get guarded - period. Shaquille O'Neal bigs dog house Doesn't matter. If I would've had a beer before the game, I would've been drunk. So I don't believe in 'if.' Shaquille O'Neal basketball beer believe That has nothing to do with basketball. That's just because I'm sexy. Shaquille O'Neal sexy basketball Remember this-I'm going to bring a championship to Miami. I promise. Shaquille O'Neal basketball winning promise That game was dedicated to Rick Adelman. I'm at home, in the bathroom, trying to take a dump, flipping through the channels and he's complaining (on TV) about how I'm stepping over the line. I can't even do a No. 2 in peace. I'm sitting there grunting at 12:30 at night. Can I go one day without somebody saying something negative about me? Shaquille O'Neal basketball home night When I get old, I'm going to the old folks' home. I don't want to be one of those guys who's hanging around the house bothering the kids. But not just any old folks' home. I want the whole top floor. Shaquille O'Neal house home kids I'd shoot zero percent before I'd shoot underhanded. Shaquille O'Neal free-throw zero basketball Nobody's going to tell me how to be different, so stop asking me. Stop asking me what two-plus-two is. Everybody knows two-plus-two is five. Shaquille O'Neal different asking two I respect the older guys. Shaquille O'Neal guy basketball winning Stay out of the gentlemen's clubs. Get a lot of rest. Just have fun and relax and stay focused. Shaquille O'Neal basketball winning fun I'll take 14 out of 15 any day of the week, any week of the month, any month of the year, any year of the century. I don't know what comes after century. Shaquille O'Neal basketball winning years We want you all to be in shape and look as good as me. Because I will be walking naked on the beach. Shaquille O'Neal nba basketball beach Finally, I have someone that's like me. My other two pupils were the opposite sides of the moon. But this guy is on the same side of the moon, is on the same planet that I'm on. Shaquille O'Neal basketball moon opposites I think he got an incidental elbow in the face, messed up his pretty red lips a little bit. But other than that he'll be fine. Shaquille O'Neal nba basketball thinking Flash, take the game off. I'll go out and do the work. Shaquille O'Neal nba basketball games That dude scored 8 points in the last 19 seconds, pulled out a miracle win at the Garden. He made me choke on a chicken bone that day. I'm serious. Shaquille O'Neal garden basketball winning I got it, I dove on the floor, he dove on my head and I hit my teeth on the ground. It was just one of my police reactions to get that criminal off me. Shaquille O'Neal nba police basketball It's a different role for me, playing with the great Dwyane Wade. Shaquille O'Neal nba different basketball
