Sometimes I think it is a great mistake to have matter that can think and feel. It complains so. Kurt Vonnegut More Quotes by Kurt Vonnegut More Quotes From Kurt Vonnegut You know what truth is? [...] It's some crazy thing my neighbor believes. If I want to make friends with him, I ask him what he believes. He tells me, and I say, "Yeah, yeah - ain't it the truth? Kurt Vonnegut crazy real believe Nice, nice, very nice. Kurt Vonnegut very-nice nice Trout's leading robot looked like a human being, and could talk and dance and so on, and go out with girls. And nobody held it against him that he dropped jellied gasoline on people. But they found his halitosis unforgivable. But then he cleared that up, and he was welcomed to the human race. Kurt Vonnegut girl race people People would be surprised if they knew how much in this world was due to prayers. Kurt Vonnegut prayer would-be people I wish that people who are conventionally supposed to love each other would say to each other, when they fight, "Please - a little less love, and a little more common decency." Kurt Vonnegut fighting breakup life The time would not pass. Somebody was playing with the clocks, and not only the electronic clocks but the wind-up kind too. The second hand on my watch would twitch once, and a year would pass, and then it would twitch again. There was nothing I could do about it. As an Earthling I had to believe whatever clocks said -and calendars. Kurt Vonnegut believe hands years In real life as in grand opera, arias only make hopeless situations worse. Kurt Vonnegut opera hopeless real We're here on Earth to fart around Kurt Vonnegut fart earth ...we took the 10 machines we agreed were the most beguiling, and we put them on permanent exhibit in the foyer of this library underneath a sign whose words can surely be applied to this whole ruined planet nowadays: THE COMPLICATED FUTILITY OF IGNORANCE Kurt Vonnegut foyers library ignorance Mark Twain was so good with crowds that he became, in competition with singers and dancers and actors and acrobats, one of the most popular performers of his time. It is so unusual, and so psychologically unlikely, too, for a great writer to be a great performer, too. Kurt Vonnegut dancer competition writing If people insist on living as if there's no tomorrow, there really won't be one. Kurt Vonnegut tomorrow ifs people Everybody knows that the dumbest people in any American university are in the education department, and English after that. Kurt Vonnegut american-universities university people in nonsense is strength Kurt Vonnegut nonsense Much of the conversation in the country consisted of lines from television shows, both past and present. Kurt Vonnegut country television past Has any psychological experiment yielded a more delightful suggestion than this one: that there is a part of the mind without ambition or information, which nonetheless is expert on what is beautiful? Kurt Vonnegut ambition mind beautiful The mountebank told them that God was surely trying to kill them, possibly because He was through with them, and that they should have the good manners to die. This, as you can see, they did. Kurt Vonnegut should-have manners trying Cigarettes are a classy way to commit suiside. Kurt Vonnegut cigarette commit way Their imaginations were flywheels on the ramshackle machinery of the awful truth. Kurt Vonnegut machinery awful imagination I'm a doctor of cowshit, pigshit, and chickenshit.....when you doctors figure out what you want, you'll find me out in the barn shoveling my thesis. Kurt Vonnegut barns doctors want People who are wary of what they might find in a book if they opened one are right to be. Kurt Vonnegut might book people