Sometimes, when you get a girl pregnant, you blame the condom. His condom broke that night. J. B. Smoove More Quotes by J. B. Smoove More Quotes From J. B. Smoove You have to fail, man, but you cannot allow failure to stop you from doing what you must do. Failing is just as good as succeeding in a lot of ways. It's how you react to it all. You can react to success the wrong way and be a total failure. Or you can react to losing with your whole heart, learn from it, and be a huge success. In stand-up, I've learned to know when I'm burning it up or when I'm being so-so. That's experience. I learn every single time I'm on a stage. J. B. Smoove burning heart men I talked about everything, man. I've always written material that everyone can laugh at. I talked about growing up. I did a lot of physical comedy. That was my thing. I was a physical comedian. I did anything and everything from running on a treadmill, I can paint a picture on stage of anything. J. B. Smoove growing-up running men Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just concentrate on what they're going to say, and they're not listening. You have to listen in order to see where the other person is going to. J. B. Smoove listening order people I should be European. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat. J. B. Smoove coats long looks I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into the mind of a kid. J. B. Smoove nice men kids Being a parent is about your survival. Surviving the terrible two's is the most important thing. Kids get heavy. Quite literally. They're heavy to lift up when they're throwing tantrums. J. B. Smoove parent two kids I'm looking to be the next comedy mogul. J. B. Smoove moguls next comedy I'm a thief. I steal scenes, I steal opportunities. I am the ultimate thief. I got sticky fingers. J. B. Smoove thieves stealing opportunity I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things, you can't leave the bathroom door open...you can't put your feet on the couch, you can't hide stuff in the couch. J. B. Smoove feet want doors My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power wash his ass, f-ck my mail up, I don't care. J. B. Smoove gardening wife house Sometimes you can make friends, and sometimes you can take friends. Sometimes people want to be friends with you, and you gotta be like, 'Okay, I can deal with this person's personality and be their friend, but not necessarily do I have to change who I am. I'm not gonna change myself to be their friend.' J. B. Smoove i-am myself change personality
