Spilling your guts is just exactly as charming as it sounds. Fran Lebowitz More Quotes by Fran Lebowitz More Quotes From Fran Lebowitz I love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility. Fran Lebowitz responsibility hurt sleep The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink. Fran Lebowitz humorous drinking memorable Inhabitants of underdeveloped nations and victims of natural disasters are the only people who have ever been happy to see soybeans. Fran Lebowitz soybeans vegetables people Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far more likely to elicit a cheerful response than "Where's your manuscript?" "Why haven't you called?" and "Who's your lawyer?" Fran Lebowitz sky blue children As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran Lebowitz motivational happiness inspirational That I am totally devoid of sympathy for, or interest in, the world of groups is directly attributable to the fact that my two greatest needs and desires - smoking cigarettes and plotting revenge - are basically solitary pursuits. Fran Lebowitz being-alone revenge two I'm not interested in being a wife. I'm interested in being an empress. Fran Lebowitz women wife empresses I believe in talent. I know you're not supposed to believe in that anymore because you're supposed to believe if you just work hard you can do anything. That's how you succeed, maybe. But talent is something you're born with. You cannot acquire it by working hard, and you cannot lose it by lying around either. Fran Lebowitz hard-work believe lying People (a group that in my opinion has always attracted an undue amount of attention) have often been likened to snowflakes. This analogy is meant to suggest that each is unique - no two alike. This is quite patently not the case. People, even at the current rate of inflation - in fact, people especially at the current rate of inflation - are quite simply a dime a dozen. And, I hasten to add, their only similarity to snowflakes resides in their invariably and lamentable tendency to turn, after a few warm days, to slush. Fran Lebowitz unique two people When I was very little, say five or six, I became aware of the fact that people wrote books. Before that, I thought that God wrote books. I thought a book was a manifestation of nature, like a tree. When my mother explained it, I kept after her: What are you saying? What do you mean? I couldn't believe it. It was astonishing. It was like--here's the man who makes all the trees. Then I wanted to be a writer, because, I suppose, it seemed the closest thing to being God. Fran Lebowitz mother believe book If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater? Fran Lebowitz sweaters people thinking All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. Fran Lebowitz beautiful beauty funny Donald Trump is not my fault. You can blame certain things on me, but not Donald Trump. Fran Lebowitz trump blame faults It would also have been helpful to have gone to a Catholic grammar school. The only people who know grammar are those people who went to Catholic grammar school. Those nuns beat it into them. Fran Lebowitz catholic people school What's the point of being young if you're not going to make new things, I wonder? Fran Lebowitz new-things young wonder those who use the word 'lifestyle' are rarely in possession of either. Fran Lebowitz style language use If in addition to being physically unattractive you find that you do not get along well with others, do not under any circumstances attempt to alleviate this situation by developing an interesting personality. An interesting personality, is, in an adult, insufferable. In a teenager it is frequently punishable by law. Fran Lebowitz teenager law interesting Middle class was defined by having certain values and only a certain amount of money. But this new middle class seems to have absolutely no values and an unlimited amount of money. Fran Lebowitz middle unlimited class Notoriously insensitive to subtle shifts in mood, children will persist in discussing the color of a recently sighted cement-mixer long after one's own interest in the topic has waned. Fran Lebowitz color long children Albert Einstein didn't care where he lived. Albert Einstein was a genius. Albert Einstein wasn't getting lost in the master bedroom, he was lost in thought. Fran Lebowitz getting-lost care genius
