Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth while, But be in mind a little out of style. Ambrose Bierce More Quotes by Ambrose Bierce More Quotes From Ambrose Bierce GOOSE, n. A bird that supplies quills for writing. These, by some occult process of nature, are penetrated and suffused with various degrees of the bird's intellectual energies and emotional character, so that when inked and drawn mechanically across paper by a person called an "author," there results a very fair and accurate transcript of the fowl's thought and feeling. The difference in geese, as discovered by this ingenious method, is considerable: many are found to have only trivial and insignificant powers, but some are seen to be very great geese indeed. Ambrose Bierce writing character science FROG, n. A reptile with edible legs Ambrose Bierce cooking food science EAT, v.i. To perform successively (and successfully) the functions of mastication, humectation, and deglutition. Ambrose Bierce humour function science If every hypocrite in the United States were to break his leg to-day the country could be successfully invaded to-morrow by the warlike hypocrites of Canada. Ambrose Bierce united-states hypocrite country VIRTUES, n.pl. Certain abstentions. Ambrose Bierce virtue certain certainty Empty wine bottles have a bad opinion of women. Ambrose Bierce bottles wine food Age is provident because the less future we have the more we fear it. Ambrose Bierce age An archbishop is an ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop. Ambrose Bierce bishops Scribbler, n. A professional writer whose views are antagonistic to one's own. Ambrose Bierce views writing ADDER, n. A species of snake. So called from its habit of adding funeral outlays to the other expenses of living. Ambrose Bierce snakes funeral science APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider Ambrose Bierce physicians graves science A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat. Ambrose Bierce violin cat revenge ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn. Ambrose Bierce cosmetics arsenic science POLICE, n. An armed force for protection and participation. Ambrose Bierce protection force police BODY-SNATCHER, n. A robber of grave-worms. One who supplies the young physicians with that with which the old physicians have supplied the undertaker. Ambrose Bierce physicians body science DIAPHRAGM, n. A muscular partition separating disorders of the chest from disorders of the bowels. Ambrose Bierce bowels disorder science Distress: A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend. Ambrose Bierce exposure prosperity disease HOMŒOPATHIST, n. The humorist of the medical profession. Ambrose Bierce medical-profession humour science STORY, n. A narrative, commonly untrue. Ambrose Bierce untrue narrative stories PANTALOONS, n. A nether habiliment of the adult civilized male. The garment is tubular and unprovided with hinges at the points of flexion. Supposed to have been invented by a humorist. Called trousers by the enlightened and pants by the unworthy. Ambrose Bierce males pants adults
